PERSONAL

0

2,724

Sindrel Song Testing 1

6 years ago1,384 words

If you're interested in testing Sindrel Song (likely on PC first), let me know! Also some of the usual frantic rantings about this long-dreaded phase in this game's life cycle... EDIT: I think I'll stop accepting testers for now. Perhaps I'll run a 'phase 2' of testing later, once some changes have been made, so then I can know that they've actually fixed what they should have.

So we're finally at this point... I haven't actually finished the whole game yet. I mentioned last time that I'd yet to finish the ending, and I still haven't, but I might just add some placeholder "ENDING GOES HERE" bit and leave it at that for now. I suppose it'd make sense actually, since I might end up editing story elements based on feedback, and it'd be better to do that before writing the conclusion.

The reason I've yet to make it is because I've been reading and responding to some comments and things instead. While some are definitely encouraging, and I appreciate those a lot, as is always the case it's the negative ones that stick like barbs in my mind. I end up getting tense and shaky, my mind becomes cloudy. These anxiety symptoms are why I usually avoid things, since they handicap me so much.

Something I'm particularly concerned about is existing MARDEK fans shooting Sindrel Song down because it's not a continuation of a series I stopped making over a decade ago. It seems so utterly senseless to me, to have that almost sociopathic disregard for change, to cling to something from our youths rather than being open to new experiences. I wonder if it's an attitude that's tied to the Big Five trait of openness, or whether it's only a handful of bad eggs who've clung on for this long anyway while the majority just wouldn't be like that, I don't know.

I've posted a handful of YouTube videos throughout development, though I've mostly avoided checking them after uploading them because I didn't want to be embarrassed by the tiny number of views, or hurt by the comments (YouTube isn't exactly known for its friendly comment sections). As I'm very interested in learning as much as I can about how people feel about the game, I checked the ones on ∞ the latest video ∞ (which does have a pathetic amount of views, I see; great), which are varied. Some are positive and encouraging, but then of course there are the "mardek 4 pls" ones that make me sick... because I get why people would want it, but it's just unreasonable to expect that from me at the moment and I wish they could understand why.

I've been meaning to write a post about that for ages. I started on those ∞ My Story ∞ posts more recently than I thought; it feels like a lifetime ago. I suppose since it was pre-surgery, in a way it was. Because surgery got in the way, I didn't get to finish those, though I still have a few written that I didn't get around to posting, so I might do that in the future. It'd be nice though to write a more compressed version of the whole thing, which I could pin to the front page here and link people to if they asked why I'm not making MARDEK 4. It seems from a delightful exchange in that comments section that it's still not clear why I'm not working on it.

Sigh... Apparently I'm 'selfish' for making this instead of being locked into a bad decision I made as a naive teenager, for making a project that deals with real, resonant issues rather than just flat characters going around fighting monsters so then they can beat the monsters or whatever.

It doesn't worry me because "wah wah they said bad words and don't understaaaaand me!". Not just that, anyway! What concerns me is that people like that will essentially shoot the game down with negative ratings or horrible comments that'll influence how much impact it could have or how much money it might make. And what would be the point of that anyway? What would be their end goal? Would they think it'd motivate me to make a fun sequel to MARDEK?

Even if I did make one, they'd probably find a bunch of faults with it anyway because it isn't like what they remember. It's interesting that one of the people on that video (the one who called me selfish actually; I didn't realise that earlier) said:



As we grow, our tastes change. We become more discerning; what seemed amazing to us in the past feels childish once we know a whole lot more. It's certainly how *I* feel about MARDEK. If there was a MARDEK 4, either it'd be too similar to the others and would feel puerile to the adult minds of grown-up fans, or it'd be too different and would be criticised for changing too much. It seems like an unwinnable situation either way.

Anyway, while a few people do pester me for MARDEK 4, I'm assuming there are only a small and dwindling number of them. They seem more prominent in what's left of my fanbase because I haven't released anything else in years, but my hope is that once I *do* start releasing other, different things, I'll build a new fanbase who are interested in that kind of thing instead. It's not as if my entire audience is and always will be the same people who played MARDEK, and by making something that's not that I'm spitting in all their faces and ensuring my games' failure. It'd be wonderful if I had new people find me for whom my games like Sindrel Song really resonated, then I could make something that's meaningful and satisfying to me while also giving a group of people something they can enjoy too. It'd be such a nice thing to be the Alora Fane Guy rather than the MARDEK Guy.

But I've no idea how it'll go. I imagine this whole transition from obscurity to... probably maybe possibly slightly-less-obscurity will be stressful anyway, so I might end up talking about it quite a bit here.



THAT SAID, I am interested in doing testing as soon as possible. I'll be uploading to something called Kartridge at first, so it'll be the PC version, which I feel is the best version anyway. My plan is to do testing there, then build up to releases on larger platforms like the Google and Android app stores, and maybe even Steam if this kind of thing will qualify for that. I don't know what's actually possible though, since this is just some odd indie passion project at the end of the day.

I'd appreciate it if you're interested in testing the game and providing detailed feedback about your experience! Specifically things like your impressions of the dialogue/story/etc, and whether you find the gameplay fun or frustrating. I'm expecting to have to change things quite a bit based on this feedback, so I'm bracing myself for that, but it'll be valuable to do so, so I hope I actually get some!

If you're interested in testing, please comment here and send me an email at either tobias@alorafane.com or pseudolonewolf@gmail.com so then I'll have your email address. I'm not going to accept people who for whatever reason feel risky, so if you're a troll, please have a heart and wait (because I know you'll respect my wishes, of course).

I'm dreading this whole release phase, honestly, so I imagine it'll be a slow and rocky start. But I'm hoping to learn a lot, so that this'll go more smoothly for any future releases... if there even are any. It really depends on how well this game does, I suppose.