PERSONAL
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Pre-release! What do I need to do??
5 years ago1,877 words
I said in the previous post that I'm aiming to release Sindrel Song at the end of next week, which is also the end of the sixth month, which feels right. I've come up with a list of things I need to do between now and then, but I'm somewhat clueless and am very open to the thoughts of more knowledgeable people about how to handle this!
I don't know for certain whether I'll actually be able to meet this deadline, so don't consider it an absolute Release Date, but I'll certainly try my best. I'm not exactly looking forward to exposing my work to the critical masses, or potentially facing the reality that I've wasted months of my life and this life direction won't work out for me... but I've said all that multiple times before, I suppose. No use going over it yet again, even though it fills my thoughts pretty much every day (sigh... there was a long comment on one of the previous posts which felt like an uncomfortably personal attack on my whole identity, to which people replied "yep, sounds about right" (on a post where I was literally saying I didn't want to talk about contentious stuff because I didn't like people piling on me); I didn't reply, and that's been going around in my mind for days as well, really fuelling the deep shame and self-loathing and assumptions that I'll be seen very badly by new eyes...).
I've been reading comments on the previous two posts by those of you who've been doing this second stage of testing, and as always, I greatly appreciate them! I'll be interested in hearing more all week, so let's keep the previous post's feedback section for that; I'll check it regularly. I haven't replied yet, and I'm aware there are some emails I've yet to reply to as well (shocking; normally I'm so good at correspondence). I meant to do that today, but I couldn't because I was working for almost every waking moment for the past several days, and crashed today as a result of that. Or maybe it's just another random dark day, heavy with depression, the whims of mental weather. I've achieved little today, anyway; I thought it was best to try to take a day off than to push myself constantly despite having the desire to.
I'm aiming to release on multiple platforms, but I'll be starting with just the PC version on Kartridge, as I've been told the audience there isn't humongous so it seems like a nice place to start. Based on the feedback I get - which I've also been told will only come from people who've spent money on it - I'll make more changes if necessary, then I'll aim to release on things like Steam and mobiles if that seems like a good and feasible idea. I've no idea when that'll be; I mean, I thought this game would be done 'very soon' every time I've posted about it! (I briefly skimmed all the posts with the Sindrel Song tag yesterday, and it's embarrassing how often I said that only for things to drag on and on for weeks more...)
Speaking of money, actually, what would you suggest would be a suitable price? I've had a suggestion that I've been meaning to go with, but I'm curious to hear other people's thoughts about that.
There are a few promotional things I need to set up before I release properly on Kartridge. Plus there are other things I'd like to do before exposing myself to the world again, things like generally tidying up my online house, etc. Here are the things I've got on my list for the coming week:
Apparently on Kartridge I can change from playtesting mode to a 'coming soon' mode, so that other people could see the game's display page to build up a bit of excitement and hype. I meant to do that today, but couldn't because I could barely move or think (so lovely, that). I feel that first I need to actually set up a display page for it with recent screenshots, a video, etc? So it's more complicated than just changing an option in the settings. I tried gathering some screenshots today, but it took forever due to the depression which I may have already mentioned once or several times. (I'm still feeling awful as I write this - maybe that's obvious?? - but I need to push through it at least a bit.)
Should I make a trailer, actually? I've been assuming so, though that's no easy feat. Are there guidelines about these things? I notice that Kartridge mentions making a 20-second no-text 'gameplay promo' video, but I'm assuming that's different to a trailer? Would a trailer even be necessary? What should it include?
I also need to update www.alorafane.com about the game, though that's a much lesser concern.
Since I have a history as a games developer on Kongregate and I've not MAKE MARDEK 4'd, instead choosing to focus on this weird thing years later, something I'd like to do is post in the Kongregate forums about what I'm doing and why, just to personally reach out to people so it's not like some heartless company has killed something people have been looking forward to for ages. I don't know how many people would see that or care, or who'd even react positively, but I feel it wouldn't be a bad thing to do? Kongregate still has a forum, right?? If there's anywhere else I should do that, let me know.
Before I do, though, I'd like to do something I've been planning for a long time. I want to write a blog post here about My Story in a fairly succinct form, explaining what led to me making games in the first place, giving up on them, then returning and making something like this. I wouldn't want it to be excessively long or overly personal, but I feel the backstory is as interesting as - perhaps moreso than - the game itself, plus I want to have something to link people to if they get upset over why I'm not continuing with an ancient Flash series. I get the feeling that a lot of people genuinely don't understand why I gave up on it, or on games in general. Even for people who've never heard of MARDEK, a post like that would add context to what I've made that I think could help it feel more meaningful, or something. I've no idea how many people would actually see that, but it's something I'd link to prominently and have pinned to the main page of this blog.
I've already tried to write about all that before, but I wrote excessively about fairly trivial details and never got through everything important. What I'm planning would be more like the big picture, a sweeping summary. A synopsis, not a novel.
I've also been feeling recently - especially considering the response to one of the recent posts - that I've been too open and personal in blog posts online for the past several years, and it's just not worth the anxiety of being judged by people, especially considering how
BROKEN!! I clearly am, so I have a strong urge to just keep things to myself from now on. I've no idea how that'll turn out, since I've always written about my experiences as a form of catharsis and exploration to aid in self-understanding, but, well, the whole thing about my mental illness is that I'm convinced I'm doing stupid things all the time and being judged harshly for them, and it's definitely got worse in the years since I first started releasing games, so maybe I'll start being less revealing from now on. I don't know. It's stressful to think about.
I've been wondering then where to post game updates, for whatever project I work on next, if I do work on anything. This was meant as a personal blog unrelated to games development, but it's turned into that recently because I don't really have anywhere else to post. I've been wondering whether to have blogs on both Alora Fane and here, to separate the development stuff from venting about my many horrible personal issues, but... eh, again, I don't know. What do other indie developers do?
Also, speaking of websites, I still need to set up Fig Hunter with my old games. I don't think that's
important really, not compared to other stuff, but I'd like to have at least the basic functionality and a game or two on there for if any new people try to look up more of my stuff after playing Sindrel Song. It wouldn't be wise to miss what'll surely be a narrow window of interest.
Another less important thing is making a soundtrack for Sindrel Song, but how should I release that? Previously I've used Bandcamp, and I still get a sale on there every so often (always surprising), but I wonder if that's considered obsolete these days. If you know of any better services for hosting/selling soundtracks, let me know. What do other developers do?
So right. The quick version of the list, in order, looks like this:
* First, I'll write a post about My Story, especially why I'm not making MARDEK 4 - I'll try to do this tomorrow.
* If I have time left tomorrow, I'll try to set up Fig Hunter in a basic fashion. Otherwise that's not a high priority and I'll do the other stuff first.
* Then, I'll need to configure stuff on Kartridge so that Sindrel Song is set to 'Coming Soon'. (I want to do the blog post first as I suspect Kartridge people might see that and think "huh? The MARDEK guy? Why's he doing THAT? OUTRAGE!!", so I want to have something to link to. Plus I feel that my personal story and the game's origins and purpose are so tightly linked it seems valuable.)
* Not long after, I'll post somewhere about the game, probably the Kongregate forums, unless you have better suggestions.
* I'll work on the soundtrack and bug fixing and final tweaks based on feedback in the days between that and the release.
And... is that it? Is there anything I've missed, or should be doing differently? While I've released games before, it was a billion years ago and it was 'just' uploading Flash games; I don't even know if there was any fanfare there? I honestly can't remember how it worked at all. Things probably work different these days and I'm very ignorant of at all, plus my avoidance issues are getting in the way of doing research, so I'll be grateful for any guidance I can get.
Oh, edit, another thing: I have a Patreon account, but I've neglected it for years because I felt bad that I didn't have anything worth supporting. I intend to revive that, though I'm anxious about it because real money is involved, and I wonder how many people still support me and would be upset if I completely changed what it said on my profile. Or maybe they're all aware of what I'm up to and they're supporting me knowing that?
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