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GRIS
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago1,187 words
I played an indie game! It's called Gris, and it's a beautiful, abstract 2D platformer, which I both greatly admire and envy, in a way.

One of my goals this year is to play more indie games, which I've been avoiding doing for a while because they're the competition and I compare my work to them and feel bad when they're successful and mine's not. "Is this what people want? It's different to what I'm making. Why should I even bother?" That kind of thing.

It's annoying, since games have provided some of my most cherished experiences, and I'm missing out on creating more of those by avoiding games. Plus I'm stuck being inspired by games I played years ago rather than what's being newly produced.

Last year, a few of you suggested a bunch of indie games I could play, and I started making a list. I'd been meaning to work my way through that list (starting with Undertale...), but someone mentioned a game in a comment on the previous post, so on a whim I thought I'd start with that. It's called GRIS (for reasons that elude me). I vaguely recognised it from when I was uploading Sindrel Song to Steam - the example box art Steam provided to developers behind the scenes was for this game - but had no idea what it was. I gave it a go anyway.



You might have already played it; the amount of reviews is very high, so I'm assuming the number of sales and players is much higher.

It's an arty, beautiful platformer that was recommended to me as being free of danger, an experience more than a challenge, which I can say is a good way of describing it. I finished it in 3 hours, and I consider those hours well spent.



The art is phenomenal; it's the kind of game where every screenshot is a work of art in itself (I wish I'd taken more, though the thought only occurred to me half way through). I love the abstract shapes which blend geometric precision with organic vitality. It gives the world the sugary appeal of simple icons while still allowing it to feel fully alive.

A thought I had while playing it was that different games engage different parts of us. Some engage the Body, challenging reflexes, endurance, skill. Others engage the Mind, with their stories and lore that keep you thinking; I'd consider my own work in that category. A few, like this one, engage the Spirit; they're not a tough challenge, and I certainly found my own mind wandering throughout as it wasn't particularly engaged, but they manage to touch something deeper, more mystical; playing them feels more like meditation than anything.



It reminded me of other games with a similar "arty, spiritual" feel, all of which I love and which were successful. Journey, Monument Valley, and Ori and the Blind Forest come to mind, as do the games by Nifflas (was that his name? I wonder what became of him and his games), and to a lesser extent Braid. They have in common beautiful, stylised environments, equally beautiful but somewhat elusive ambient music, and a distinct wordlessness that makes any plot aethereal and up to interpretation.

I don't know what the story of this was intended to be. Something about sorrow or loss or mental illness, probably, but in a vague way that you don't need to understand or engage with it to find the experience fulfilling. Raw emotion without mind involved. I suppose following from what I just said, perhaps being vague about it was the point, so the player could read into it as they saw fit.

There were a bunch of female statues like this one throughout the game, which were fairly obviously representative of the person the player character thing was supposed to represent, or maybe just her relevant emotions in a general sense (so a statue would represent "loss" rather than "her feeling loss"). Something I found interesting were their proportions, more distinctly average than you'd usually see in a statue, not at all sexualised despite being naked. I wonder whether other people notice such things.

I haven't read anything about the game at all beyond the comment that recommended it to me; I didn't even read the description! So everything I've said here is based entirely on my experiences of a single playthrough.

I'm pleased that it's done so well in terms of sales and feedback; it certainly deserves it.



On a personal note, though, it was difficult to get into at first, not because it was bad, but because it was good, and successful, and so different to what I'm making myself. My first play session was about an hour, and my mind was mostly flooded by negative thoughts for the duration. I wasn't criticising the game, but there were a lot of things that were especially impressive about it that just made me wonder what had gone so right in the creators' lives for this to be their minds' fruit, and what had gone so wrong with mine (or rather, I know what's gone wrong with mine, and it set off a chain of thoughts about that. Great).

I quit fairly quickly to give myself a bit of time to mentally recover, and returned to it today looking forward to playing it. So I'm glad that negativity didn't last long. It's a shame the game wasn't longer, though I also feel it was the right kind of length where it didn't overstay its welcome or grow stale (even so, apparently only 41% of people have reached the end; I suppose this is probably fairly high though, relative to other games). Hopefully this experience will allow me to explore other indie games for inspiration now, and I look forward to giving more of them a try!

I did think a lot while playing about how games like this represent abstraction in a way I admire and would aspire to, but I wonder how important the lack of dialogue is in making most people perceive it as enjoyably arty rather than inaccessible or off-putting. It's probably very important! And that makes me wonder whether my dialogue- and "Mind"-heavy things will ever be as appealing... Perhaps not, but I just need to tell myself that everything has its place, and not all creations need to aim for the same target.

Also, the credits at the start listed a handful of people, which made me feel a bit less bad since it's not as if this was all made by one person. The credits at the end were even longer; it's interesting how only those few were considered the main developers even though many people had their hand in it somewhere. Even the "music" header listed three names. Interesting.

Anyway, I also wanted to write about what I've been up to myself this past week; I've made a lot! I'll probably write another post about that either later today or tomorrow. How exciting.

19 COMMENTS

Maniafig219~4Y
I hope you're going to make more of these blogs, I'll be curious to hear more of your thoughts on indie games!

I have heard about GRIS before, though the genre of games it belongs to isn't one I actively seek out myself. Personally I do rather like your proposed Mind type of games, whether that be character-driven (visual novels, Taming Dreams), lore-driven (walking sims) or logic-driven (turn based RPGs). Those seem to make up most of the games I play, barring forays into Body sorts of games when playing platformers.

You're actually more unique than you might think for making games solo! While people often attribute a game to one sole creator or a small group of creators, the truth is most of these people have others helping them out or the team in question is much bigger than the 'lead team' of sorts.

People often talk about Undertale as Toby Fox's game, and it's true he did a lot of the work on Undertale, but he also had a team of people helping him with some parts, such as artists, programmers or people brought in to help create particular sequences.

Even the creator of the Epic Battle Fantasy games has someone else who does the music for all his games. Sonny also had music composed by someone other than Krin himself.

Honestly I can hardly think of other developers who do indeed make games totally solo. Craig Stern from Sinister Design made some of the Telepath games solo, I think, but his recent titles have commissioned art.

Of course there's nothing wrong with not working alone, but I hope this helps put into perspective your exceptional position. It really is impressive that you've made games like MARDEK, Memody: Sindrel Song and Taming Dreams all by yourself!

I also recently finished my own overview of games I've played in 2019. Perhaps one of the games there interests you. [LINK]
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Tobias 1104~4Y
It's sort of annoying then seeing Undertale come up on things like "5 MOST INSANE GAMES MADE BY A SINGLE PERSON NUMBER 3 WILL MAKE YOU CRAP YOUR PANTS", if that's not even the case... Oh well, at least it makes me feel special?

Sinister Design... That brings back memories! What's he up to these days? I remember he contacted me once, during the Taming Dreams time maybe? I don't remember him doing his own music, but maybe that's just memory issues yet again. I do remember Epic Battle Fantasy and Sonny having separate composers though.

Personally I think it's super impressive that I do everything myself, even if I feel like a narcissist for saying so, but it seems like surprisingly few other people seem particularly impressed by it? Maybe they just don't realise what it actually entails.

I meant to comment on your blog last time you mentioned it, but I felt it was worth more than just a quick reply and annoyingly never found the time to write something out! I wish I had more time now, but I don't want to just say nothing again. I LIKE THE PURPLE AND THE YELLOW. You're also consistently funny in your posts in a way I wish I was in mine! I've not thoroughly read this review post though because that's a lot of games, and I think I will play a few but I'll read what you thought of them after forming my own impressions, I suppose!
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Maniafig219~4Y
Craig Stern, the guy behind Sinister Design, is currently working on remaking his most recent game, Telepath Tactics, in a new engine. It's the game I'm currently playing and I follow the guy on Twitter, so I know a thing or two about the development process.

He had Kickstarted the game in 2013 I believe, and actually raised $40,000, and released it in 2015, though the game had a lot of weird engine-related bugs such as inventory issues and slowdown. Most have been patched out of the game since, but the slowdown still happens if battles take long enough, I actually ran into the problem myself earlier today during a 90-minute long battle.

Hence why he's remaking the game in a new engine, though re-using a lot of the assets. He actually posted an update three days ago, so it's still ongoing. I'll link the Kickstarter here just in case. [LINK]

He also Kickstarted a separate board game based on post-apocalyptic cult warfare, though I don't know too much about it myself since I'm not really a board gamer.

It's interesting to hear he did reach out to you! I think it would be a good idea to reach out to him some time, he seems to be pretty deeply into the game dev scene and he definitely knows a thing or two about running a Kickstarter campaign, he could have all sorts of interesting insights. You two also seem to have similar ideas about wanting to express statements and say things with games as well as push boundaries.

I'm happy to hear you like the blog! Don't worry about not commenting, it's very rare I get comments on there anyway, just hearing someone say they like it already makes it feel worth it! Don't sell yourself short on your humour though, you're funny when you try to be! I laughed at the way you described the holidays during your Christmas and New Year's Eve blogs!

The purple and yellow colour scheme is the scheme I used way back in the old days of Fig Hunter back when you could still manually edit text message colours using tags! I mostly go by purple on sites that let me pick colours these days, but in my heart I am purple and yellow.
1
Tobias 1104~4Y
That sounds like a VERY good place to start, so I'm glad you've mentioned this! If he's already aware of me, and he's had clear success at Kickstarter and has links to communities, then I feel that contacting him should maybe be my next step forward if I hope to break out of the cocoon I've trapped myself in. It's all about connections, after all...

That Kickstarter page seems so intimidating though! The sheer amount of information on it, I mean. Do people really want that much to read? Maybe they do; there's definitely a lot I need to learn about all that.

I haven't read it all - though I probably will later when I can devote time to it - so does it mention what he's making this in? He used to use Flash, didn't he?

I'm glad to hear he's still actively creating. It sounds like all my contemporaries from the Flash/MARDEK days have stuck with their courses and done well with it though; I feel like I'm the only one who didn't!

FOR NOW! BUT JUST YOU WAIT!!

I feel like I need to start following more people in general; I don't think I follow anyone on Twitter or anything, largely because comparing my life to others' just gets me down and impairs productivity. But I should start following people and blogs and communities and things...

I remember your purple and yellow comments from the good old days!
1
Tama_Yoshi82~4Y
I've been consuming some philosophical concepts lately, and the feeling you describe resembles a lot like the concept of "Sublime" in philosophy, that is, the state of mind of someone faced with something so large (either beautiful or horrifying) that it makes one feel small; it is usually ascribed a humbling quality.

I like this concept: it explains a vague feeling that's not "rationally" anything specific, but which is very real.

The "Sublime" page on wikipedia has this picture, which I find impressive:

[LINK]
(apparently # and () should be allowed in a URL regex)

"Sublime" is often either associated with existential horror or divine interventions - especially the kind that are difficult to make sense of, but have great emotional impacts regardless. It's almost always associated with scale, which is interesting, because GRIS has lots of very large assets.

PS: New account, because apparently I didn't use any of my regular passwords, and I can't reset it!
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Tobias 1104~4Y
I just added a password recovery page the other day, as it happens! I haven't added a public link to it though. It's here, if you want to get your old account back: [LINK]

That's an interesting concept that reminds me of awe in the spiritual sense, which I came across a lot - and directly experienced - during my ~spiritual awakening~ and subsequent spirituality binge few years back. I suspect it's different though, less necessarily positive; I'll have to look into it more myself. I feel it's relevant to feelings I want to inspire with parts of Divine Dreams.

With GRIS in particular, it didn't necessarily fill me with that kind of feeling, though I can understand how it potentially could. I suppose it all depends on the state of mind you're in when you experience them! Personally this particular thing felt less like beholding the staggering grandeur of the divine and more like engaging in cosy contemplation. Still spiritual, if not on so grand a scale.
1
Sotter2~4Y
Hello Tobias.
This is my first time commenting here, so I might be a bit overwhelming.
1. I am glad to see you ok after your health issues.
2. Regarding GRIS, well few people tend to manage(?) every aspect of their project nowadays. Most people try to find their strongest talents and hone them as best as they can.
2a. Perhaps, your effort of being an one man band is something that burns you out and results in the abandonment of many projects. I don't know.
3. Regarding Rebuild of Mardek (Eva reference), since the story will told be 3 + 3 chapters, you could reduce your workload by using royalty free music, and maybe once the saga is done you can replace the soundtrack with your own with a deluxe edition DLC or something.
4. Continuing on with RoM, I would suggest you use Patreon/SubscribeStar instead of Kickstarter. Kickstarter has 2 main issues imo: i.You need to accurately predict your costs and time schedule.
ii. Getting backers might be harder since a lot of people have been scummed in the past and are more cynical nowadays. If a potential backer performs a background check on you, he might prefer a more reliable "investment".
4a. One way to (re)build the audience and attract backers could be releasing the first part of the saga for free in monthly updates. A favourite developer of mine follows a similar model. She earns ~5k on patreon. Since I don't want to be promoting other people on my very first comment, I will avoid going further on details.
5. Once again, I apologize for this overwhelming post. I didn't mean to patronize you. just to offer some ideas.
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Tobias 1104~4Y
There were many factors that burned me out on past projects, the main one being the fact that I worked on them for no pay in the hope they might eventually earn some money, which wasn't even really possible with Flash games. Now that I'm developing games I can actually sell, that changes everything. I've already finished Sindrel Song. I'd be even more motivated to finish things if I had some money up-front.

I'm aware though that I don't have the best track record, and explaining things to you here won't exactly convince random passersby. I'd make it clear on whatever funding platform I used that this is the situation, but I don't know how much good that'd do.

Do you have a job? How would you feel if you were asked to work for free for an entire year in the hope that you might make some connections and get hired in the end? Would you do that? Few people would be so insane! I sort of was with Taming Dreams, though; I released the first two episodes for free, with the intention to release future ones for a tiny fee each. It didn't really seem to generate a whole lot of sales when I released the third though.

I don't know which other developer you might be talking about, but the fact you use "she" makes me wonder how much of a factor that plays in people being willing to donate on Patreon. I've read things that suggest males are more likely to donate to females whenever the possibility is there, some just for the weird (sexual) pleasure of giving money to a girl. It's strange. Good for her if she's doing so well on that platform though; gives me some hope.

I've thought many times about going down the Patreon route instead of Kickstarter, but I suppose I've yet to do the research into which one would be best for my specific situation. I'm very open to hearing whatever anyone has to say about that. The things you've mentioned about Kickstarter here were unknown to me, and are useful to hear.

I wonder how you play games though if you'd consider the music replaceable by royalty-free stuff! To me, it sounds like "oh, that image of you and your wife on your wedding day is corrupted? Just find a picture of a woman from Google and paste it over her, that'll fix it". I've said at some time in the past that I make games largely so I have something to compose music for, and there's still some truth in that. The soundtrack is no less important to me than any other aspects of the story or setting, and the game would feel dead to me without composing for it. It'd feel like far less of a loss if I just cut out all the battles.
0
Sotter2~4Y
1. The main reason, I made a suggestion for royalty free music because I incorrectly assumed that the reason of your burnouts was the workload. I wouldn't like it if you followed, but it would be kinda better than the Miura treatment. (Not even Yalort knows when the next episode of Berserk will come out. T_T) Anyway, I really hope you enter into a new creative and productive era. I am not sure if I will back your Kickstarter but I promise you that I will buy your games. (Unfortunately I tend to pirate stuff)
2. Well, speaking of the female developer, I guess you are kinda right. While she only appears as her avatar (Something like an emoji), she writes adult RPG games, so yeah weird sexual pleasure applies. X_X Nonetheless, she is a good story teller. Try The Last Sovereign, if you like. (since the sex scenes are text-only, I ignore them easily)
Anyway, I am very happy for your reply. Once again I am sorry for any offence caused.
0
Ampersand68~4Y
I'm glad you enjoyed the game! As for the title, "Gris" is Spanish/French for "Grey", as well as the name of the main character.
1
Tobias 1104~4Y
So I suppose it means grey as in depressed or devoid of colour or something, then? As good a name as any!
1
Ampersand68~4Y
Yes, I do think the association of the color gray with depression is apt, but I do think that there are more layers to it as well. I interpreted the game as one about loss (in particular death)*- rather than seeing the crumbling statues as a representation of her own ego, I thought of them as symbolizing a lost loved one- perhaps a maternal figure, friend/mentor, or even a lover. In that context, I think the symbolism of the name could be that of the ambiguity of grayness, a kind of "in-betweenness"- a transitional point between the bright white (innocence- or perhaps numbness?) of the intro to the blackness (grief) that chases Gris throughout the story, which she must eventually confront.

*[SPOILER] Interestingly, I got an achievement at the end of the game called "Acceptance", and looking it up there are more such achievements named after the 5 stages of grief. The achievements for completing the level do support the interpretation of Gris as "being without color"as well, as completing each stage "brought a color back".
1
purplerabbits146~4Y
I have Gris, but I am slowly getting through other games first. However, your post pushed the game higher on the list.

Games that don't use dialog tend to be more philosophical and have much more room for interpretation and questions of the events that go on in the game.

The show don't tell approach does have a strong pull in a narative sense of storytelling. Although not absolutley nessesary for a sucessful game. The Five Nights at Freddie's games come to mind since the series and a ton of fan games start out with someone giving directions on how to play the game.
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Tobias 1104~4Y
"FNaF" is so odd to me because I can't understand how it became so popular... It looks so horrendously off-putting to me, but maybe that's because I'm not interested in horror or creepy things. So weird seeing sexualised fan art of it though... DeviantArt seems to be full of it!

I've never played it, shockingly, but if it begins with explicit instructions, and looks like it does, but still became so appealing, then it just makes the determining factors of indie game success even more baffling... I wonder what the story was behind it, and why it ever stood out while other weird games didn't. Did the developer have social connections?
0
purplerabbits146~4Y
To me I think that Fnaf was a hit because it created a new way for people to get scared. You are trapped and you can't leave so you know you are going to be jumpscared if you fail, which therefore leads to that anticipation that makes the use of a jump scare terrifyingly effective.

Another reason for the success of Fnaf comes from the Youtube side of things. I think that The Let's Players are a huge for it's success because many people are too scared to play it so they watch youtubers play it for them. But they spend money on other ways aside from game sales, (just me speculating I have no idea how Scott Cawthorn makes money)

Third reason would probably be the hidden lore. There is a lot of stuff that you would miss from one play through. And well if you look at the Game Theory youtube channel, they have over 20 videos trying to piece together ther lore of Fnaf. With so much to piece together, a community formed together to work out what the clues mean. Which leads back to Youtube, so many channels have popped up just to break down and put together their own version of the lore of Fnaf.

Fouthly, Scott's way of interating with his audience is quite engaging. He trolls people, engages with the youtubers that play his games, and has a sense of humor to his games.

Fifth, Scott has a crazy work ethic. He puts out games relatively quickly and often well ahead of schedule. At least until Fnaf World, Scott pushed ahead the game so fast that he felt like it was an incomplete game. He ended up refunding all sales and made it free as an apology. After that, he never pushed out games ahead of schedule. Another crazy feat he did was creating an entire game just for a charity live stream for the Youtube channel Game Theory to stream. It was not a planned game, just one that was brought up to Scott when GameTheory brought up plans for a huge charity live stream. Scott created the game and told them that in the game there is $500000 (I think off the top of my head). They need to collect as much of the gems and coins as possible, because for the total amount they collect Scott will donate that much to the charity. In the end, it didnt matter that they didn't get the full amount on stream, they did get pretty close though with about $480000,) because Scott donated the full amount anyways.

Speakjng of the horrible and creepy, I see it through the eyes of a graphic designer, you create things to fill a need. And well, horrible and off putting does fufil the needs of a horror game.

Funny enough, Scott's earlier works were often criticized for being too creepy and off putting with the character models that often hit by the uncanny valley. For those games, they were intended to be Christian and family friendly, but the off putting aesthetic did not help incur successful games. So, the needs of those games did not get fulfilled by the designs of those models.

1
Tobias 1104~4Y
That's certainly interesting to read... His life and career have certainly gone very differently to my own! I just looked him up, and he's got a net worth of $60 million?? That's absurd... A moon to shoot for, for sure. I suppose that explains how he could casually give away half a million. He's also 48 years old? That's certainly interesting. Wikipedia lists a whole bunch of games he's made, starting around 2002, so he must have been 30 then? Surprising. I was imagining him as some 20-something!

It does reinforce how important community involvement is though, either in the form of making something people want to talk about, and make or watch videos about, or as direct interaction with communities, which it sounds like he does. I'd need to overcome a whole lot of issues before I could get to that point myself, but maybe it's a goal to aim for.

I was going to say I wonder how he keeps motivated, but I suppose enormous amounts of money, attention, and praise are big motivating factors for most people. I think I'd get more done with all those things!

Does he do all the work on his games alone? Do they even have music?
1
purplerabbits146~4Y
I am pretty sure that Scott has some help. Though, I am not sure in what capacity. I remember Game Theory putting out a video talking about copy right and used Scott as a theoretical example. In that instance, a fan creation of a character was so close to the original that it ended up showing up in promotional material because the person who worked on the promotional piece thought that Scott made that version of the character. So for sure, Scott does have help. The vr game was helped by a different game company along with the AR mobile game. (I can't remember if it was one, the other, or both, but one of the two did have a game company help him with it)

Scott may seem like someone with a younger heart, but he does have kids. I think I remember reading that Scott created his games so that his kids can watch their favorite youtubers play it.
1
Ampersand68~4Y
There's another aspect of GRIS that I think warrants mentioning, which is how -intuitive- the gameplay is, despite the lack of tutorialization (besides the button prompts when you first gain an ability). It really is remarkable, though the relatively simple controls and puzzles certainly help with this. The world's design manages to perfectly signal to the player whether an object is interactable without breaking immersion, and the way collision is handled is inspired as well. I don't know whether these lessons would be directly applicable to your games, but I think just appreciating them can help expand one's mind when thinking about how to implement game mechanics.

Another minimalistic platformer that does this well is Inside, which has even more simplified controls, though puzzles/obstacles are often solved through trial and error rather than being strictly intuitive. Nevertheless, the game feels like one continuous shot, which I hear is a favorite among film buffs as it helps greatly with immersion and is no easy technical feat. It always fascinates me when a game can be an enjoyable experience without any UI to speak of- something about it feels so much "cleaner", though obviously that can't work for all genres (certainly not RPGs).
1
Tobias 1104~4Y
I noticed that myself; the accessibility was both in the control scheme and the map design. The maps felt complicated and there were branching paths, to the point where I was sure I'd get lost and/or have to backtrack, but I never did, which impressed me.

I like the minimal or zero UI aesthetic, but of course it's not possible with an RPG battle system. I have aimed for minimalism in what I do have, though!

I've added Inside to my list!
1
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