Alora Fane

While the world's being thrown into chaos by a virus, I've been worried about having to play with a dog. You know, one of those animal things with some ears and a few legs, like three or five or something like that. They make noises and breathe oxygen, I think. Also, my brain might be breaking again, but I hope not!!!!!

So how's about that coronavirus, eh?? It's all the internet and news seem to be talking about at the moment, but as a complete recluse it's not really been affecting my life significantly. Has it affected yours??

I'm more concerned about some worrying pressure feelings I've recently had on top of my head, which I used to have years ago before all the brain surgery stuff, and which was likely caused by hydrocephalus. I'm hoping it's nothing and not a return of all that mess, though it's hard not to worry considering what I've already been through and what I know definitely is in my brain. My next scan's in a couple of months, I think (then I get the results like five weeks after that...), so hopefully I won't need to be rushed to the hospital before then. Hmm.

Other than that, yet again I've shirking a few responsibilities this week. I took last week off, and intended for this week to be my excited return to all the stuff I'd been taking a break from, but factors outside my control came up and very much tarnished that hope. My parents volunteered to look after someone's dog for a week, and it spent much of the Sunday night after it got here barking, meaning I started Monday having spent a big chunk of the night frustratingly awake. I ended up getting nothing worthwhile done due to tiredness and poor mood. Very annoying.

It's one of those dog breeds that needs constant exercise and attention, otherwise it gets jumpy and loud and annoying. It gets separation anxiety, too; whenever my parents were out, it was a neurotic mess, barking and howling and running around. I tried to distract it, but for the first few days it was terrified of me, barking at me and generally acting afraid. It literally wet itself one time I went to go and stroke it! Apparently that's something that breed is known to do, but still. Am I that horrifying?!

It did get much more friendly with me the more time I spent with it, but that took a while, during which time I couldn't exactly do any work. It's very hard to focus when there's someone essentially going "PLAY WITH ME I'M BOOORED!!" constantly!

I've always liked animals and I'm gentle with them, but I wonder whether with dogs in particular, this gentleness makes me seem less like a pack alpha or whatever and more like a peer, or even a lesser, who they don't exactly respect or obey. Something like that. Dogs do have very hierarchical psychology. So while there have been dogs around my houses for much of my life, they've never been my dogs, and whenever I spend time with them they're always alert for sounds of their actual owners returning, and they run to them as soon as they possibly can when they get back.

I see people aww-ing about their dogs online a lot, and I've wondered whether to get a dog of my own one day since they're meant to help with depression, what with their unconditional love and friendliness. I suppose I've never known what it's like to have a dog 'love' me primarily, though. I'm just used to being ABANDONED!!! by them the moment a better person comes along. Odd thought.

It feels like such a weird thing to be concerned about and distracted by, though. A dog. When everyone else seems madly obsessed with this global pandemic, the social and cultural effects of which are much more significant than the symptoms of the infection itself. At least for those of us who aren't yet elderly, or weakened by existing medical conditions. Or maybe the whole brain cancer thing means I am weakened by an existing condition? Maybe the head pressure thing is coronavirus and I'm going to die?!??!??!?1

Honestly I feel too tired to even worry about it.

The dog's gone back home now; somewhat of a shame because of how friendly it'd got with me by the end. But it took big bites out of my work days when it wouldn't shut up and I had to play with it, and it's left me feeling exhausted. So hopefully next week will be actually back to normal for me!!

Also, I've been particularly bad at replying to comments recently. I know I say that all the time, but I do still feel bad about it! I'm wondering whether to disable the need for comments here to be approved, at least. That's in place to prevent trolls, since they always seem to pop up otherwise, but I know it gets in the way, and it's not fair that decent people have to face that barrier just because there are less decent people out there. I did add a 'trusted' system right at the beginning that allows people to bypass the pending, but I forgot about it and haven't used it yet. It probably needs testing so then it works as intended, so maybe I'll look into it when I can (or not; I always have a bunch of stuff to do).

I've also not done any of the avoidance-tackling stuff either because I've been avoiding it. Who ever could have predicted such a thing.

Oh, final note, since I just remembered: I've been playing a game! After delaying started one for ages! I've been waiting on the release of Ori and the Will of the Wisps for years, after playing and enjoying the original back in university. I've got that now, but since it's been so long since I've played the original, I've started by replaying that one. I'm almost done with it, though I likely won't write about it until after I've finished them both.

Feels like I should be playing new games exclusively so then I can learn about the modern indie games scene (does Undertale count as 'modern' anymore??), but recently I've been feeling a pull to replay some of the Final Fantasies, since they've been a huge influence but I've not played them in years. I wonder how much stuff I missed out on due to my then-undeveloped mind, which I'd see differently now. That's a huge time investment though, so I've not actually taken the plunge. HMMMMM.

8 COMMENTS

Maniafig222~5Y

The whole Coronavirus thing hasn't got me very worried personally. Nothing much has changed for me, I just wash my hands more than I used to, and the public transit's less packed than usual. It certainly hasn't changed much of my social life since it's all behind the PC anyway.

I hope there's nothing malicious going on with your head!

DOGS ARE ANNOYING. I don't like dogs. That seems to be a controversial stance, but I don't really care. Never cared for them and never will.

My sister got a dog some years back and everyone told me I'd totally love it once it was part of the household but my opinion's been the same ever since; I'll take care of it if I have to but I'd prefer not to have anything to do with it if possible.

That dog you had over sounds particularly annoying and ill-behaved though! The dog I sometimes need to look after only needs me to come downstairs once every few hours to let it relieve itself in the garden or get me to refill its water/food supply. It does sometimes do annoyingly loud shrieking yelps at cars passing by.

Getting a dog is a huge investment of time, effort and money. I think people often underestimate just how much of an obligation it all is. I certainly never would want a pet, I wouldn't get anything out of it except for more responsibilities. Yuck, responsibilities. And that goes for children too, of course!

I think Undertale still counts as modern, especially considering the spiritual successor to Undertale is currently in development, and there's various other games inspired by it/similar sources also being developed at the moment.

I've spent a large chunk of the weekend so far reading the webcomic Goblins, which is QUITE AN EXPERIENCE. I don't think I could ever recommend it to anyone given how visually unappealing the artstyle can be, how grimdark the setting is and how often it's a cavalcade of emotional misery and disturbing bodily harm! Lots of tears and blood! It's really weird and it seems to be a frequent topic of mockery on the internet, but somehow I've been having a lot of fun tearing through it.

I'm not really sure why I'm saying that, honestly! It's just been on my mind a lot, so I need to tell somebody!!

I hope there's nothing malicious going on with your head!

DOGS ARE ANNOYING. I don't like dogs. That seems to be a controversial stance, but I don't really care. Never cared for them and never will.

My sister got a dog some years back and everyone told me I'd totally love it once it was part of the household but my opinion's been the same ever since; I'll take care of it if I have to but I'd prefer not to have anything to do with it if possible.

That dog you had over sounds particularly annoying and ill-behaved though! The dog I sometimes need to look after only needs me to come downstairs once every few hours to let it relieve itself in the garden or get me to refill its water/food supply. It does sometimes do annoyingly loud shrieking yelps at cars passing by.

Getting a dog is a huge investment of time, effort and money. I think people often underestimate just how much of an obligation it all is. I certainly never would want a pet, I wouldn't get anything out of it except for more responsibilities. Yuck, responsibilities. And that goes for children too, of course!

I think Undertale still counts as modern, especially considering the spiritual successor to Undertale is currently in development, and there's various other games inspired by it/similar sources also being developed at the moment.

I've spent a large chunk of the weekend so far reading the webcomic Goblins, which is QUITE AN EXPERIENCE. I don't think I could ever recommend it to anyone given how visually unappealing the artstyle can be, how grimdark the setting is and how often it's a cavalcade of emotional misery and disturbing bodily harm! Lots of tears and blood! It's really weird and it seems to be a frequent topic of mockery on the internet, but somehow I've been having a lot of fun tearing through it.

I'm not really sure why I'm saying that, honestly! It's just been on my mind a lot, so I need to tell somebody!!

Tobias 1115~5Y

I'm surprised by your stance on dogs! I was worried that by being anything other than completely adoring towards them in this post would be met poorly! They can be very annoying though, for sure. A couple of old ones used to live in this house, and they were as low maintainance as the one you mentioned, so this younger, fiestier one was not something I'm used to.

More Undertale-like games?! More competition?!? Oh no!!

Goblins! I remember that from years ago. I'm not surprised you like it since it's, well, Goblins, but it's not something I stuck with (though I think I did follow it for several months maybe?). I was put off by the art style, but also that it spent pages on single battle scenes, going into gruesome detail for every single action? I think? I can't really remember! It is something that I remember bits and pieces of every so often though, so I suppose it left its mark on me.

Is that still going? I'm surprised the consensus about is mockery! I wonder how the creator's doing, in life and financially.

I'm surprised by your stance on dogs! I was worried that by being anything other than /completely adoring/ towards them in this post would be met poorly! They can be very annoying though, for sure. A couple of old ones used to live in this house, and they were as low maintainance as the one you mentioned, so this younger, /fiestier/ one was not something I'm used to.

More Undertale-like games?! More competition?!? Oh no!!

Goblins! I remember that from years ago. I'm not surprised you like it since it's, well, /Goblins/, but it's not something I stuck with (though I think I did follow it for several months maybe?). I was put off by the art style, but also that it spent pages on single battle scenes, going into gruesome detail for every single action? I think? I can't really remember! It is something that I remember bits and pieces of every so often though, so I suppose it left its mark on me.

Is that still going? I'm surprised the consensus about is mockery! I wonder how the creator's doing, in life and financially.

Maniafig222~5Y

There are a lot of people who do find anything less than complete adoration towards dogs strange! Which is an annoying sentiment, but oh well.

I'm surprised you have read the Goblins comic! I really didn't expect that! The comic spends a lot of time exploring the character relations and isn't afraid to be emotionally earnest and have its characters talk through their feelings, which is something I think you would enjoy, it's an aspect of the comic I do enjoy myself!

But you are definitely right about the combat and the gruesome details! I spent like 20 minutes reading through one combat scene and some bits were extremely over the top! Personally I found it fascinating and sort of hilarious just how far it would go, but there was one page that I actually had to take a break for because of how extreme it was. (It was the one where the Goblin that's afraid of death accidentally rips apart another Goblin into dozens of pieces with that green arm of his. And it's worse than it sounds!)

It is still going, I believe the last update was late in last February! Which means it's been going for 15 years now! I definitely saw a lot of mockery towards the comic, often talking about the edginess of the setting, the over-use of characters crying and the excessive violence, but also people losing interest over time. I seem to be somewhat of a minority for really enjoying the comic wholesale!

Funny to think that the whole "characters crying a lot" thing has become something of a meme thanks to SU, though in an affectionate matter since people like that part of SU.

I don't know too much about the creator, but I did look up her Patreon and she gets roughly 1,000 per page. That's more than I expected, actually! It seems this comic was actually really big at some point, or maybe it still is? The creator also did recently come out as trans, so I imagine there's all the turmoil that comes with that going on.

There are a lot of people who do find anything less than complete adoration towards dogs strange! Which is an annoying sentiment, but oh well.

I'm surprised you have read the Goblins comic! I really didn't expect that! The comic spends a lot of time exploring the character relations and isn't afraid to be emotionally earnest and have its characters talk through their feelings, which is something I think you would enjoy, it's an aspect of the comic I do enjoy myself!

But you are definitely right about the combat and the gruesome details! I spent like 20 minutes reading through one combat scene and some bits were extremely over the top! Personally I found it fascinating and sort of hilarious just how far it would go, but there was one page that I actually had to take a break for because of how extreme it was. (It was the one where the Goblin that's afraid of death accidentally rips apart another Goblin into dozens of pieces with that green arm of his. And it's worse than it sounds!)

It is still going, I believe the last update was late in last February! Which means it's been going for 15 years now! I definitely saw a lot of mockery towards the comic, often talking about the edginess of the setting, the over-use of characters crying and the excessive violence, but also people losing interest over time. I seem to be somewhat of a minority for really enjoying the comic wholesale!

Funny to think that the whole "characters crying a lot" thing has become something of a meme thanks to SU, though in an affectionate matter since people like that part of SU.

I don't know too much about the creator, but I did look up her Patreon and she gets roughly 1,000 per page. That's more than I expected, actually! It seems this comic was actually really big at some point, or maybe it still is? The creator also did recently come out as trans, so I imagine there's all the turmoil that comes with that going on.

codyfun12329~5Y

Dog psychology can be a bit obtuse to humans, what with being the psychology of dogs and not humans. For example, peeing on the ground isn't done out of terror, but as a gesture of submission. The concept of "pack hierarchy" has had such a history of misunderstanding behind its research that even today it's hard to find definitive sources on what details about it are correct and which are myths.

purplerabbits148~5Y

I think whatever games you feel like playing , you go play. With the FF games, it could be argued that it kinda runs a bit on the nostalgia (seeing that there's so many of them.) So, that could count as research with how Divine Dreams is the "remake" of MARDEK.

My dog does the same thing whenever someone else is at the door. She is much more excited about the new person than the one that's always there. Though I do get the excited greeting when I am the one at the door. xD

If you are planning on getting a dog, I can see the benifit and all the work on getting the dog trained. Speaking of training, you don't have to be the stern drill sergent when training. you just have to be consistent with what you want the dog to do or not do. So being gentle really isn't as a non alpha trait. I mean you are seen as an Alpha because you are the one that controls the food.
(and on an tangent the whole Alpha thing is actually false. The research was done by taking bunch of wolves from different packs and forced to be in close proximity, so those wolves didn't have a familiarity with each other so they would show agression and estabilish who is the "Alpha" )

In terms of coronavirus, I think you are one of the safest people since you don't really spend everyday in crowded places, the virus has a very short transmission radius of 6 feet, and the virus a very low airborne transmission rate. (I think you mentioned living in a small village in the UK? I'm basing this off my experience when I visited a friend in the UK who lives in a small village, not much really happens there and not much travel into or out of the village)

My dog does the same thing whenever someone else is at the door. She is much more excited about the new person than the one that's always there. Though I do get the excited greeting when I am the one at the door. xD

If you are planning on getting a dog, I can see the benifit and all the work on getting the dog trained.  Speaking of training, you don't have to be the stern drill sergent when training. you just have to be consistent with what you want the dog to do or not do. So being gentle really isn't as a non alpha trait. I mean you are seen as an Alpha because you are the one that controls the food. 
(and on an tangent the whole Alpha thing is actually false. The research was done by taking bunch of wolves from different packs and forced to be in close proximity, so those wolves didn't have a familiarity with each other so they would show agression and estabilish who is the "Alpha" )

In terms of coronavirus, I think you are one of the safest people since you don't really spend everyday in crowded places, the virus has a very short transmission radius of 6 feet, and the virus a very low airborne transmission rate. (I think you mentioned living in a small village in the UK? I'm basing this off my experience when I visited a friend in the UK who lives in a small village, not much really happens there and not much travel into or out of the village)

ALazyTotodile14~5Y

Ahhhhh, this is a late comment on this post but--very excited about YOU being excited about Ori. The sequel is perhaps slightly more refined than the original, and I'd argue that the newer soundtrack might even possibly surpass the old.

Definitely a pleasant experience all around, so I hope you get the free time needed to immerse yourself in that world!!

Tobias 1115~5Y

I've been playing it for a few hours now, and it's definitely impressing me as much as the original did when I first played it a few years ago. It's so beautiful and it plays so fluidly. I wish I could make something this good, but I'm too distracted by just enjoying it to feel envious!

I loved the music from the first one, but this one's made me just sit and listen to it for a few minutes a couple of times!