Alora Fane

I've spent this week doing more story planning for this now-actually-named thing, Atonal Dreams, which has included drawing final designs of all the major characters. This eccentric bunch are the four playable ones!

The title I've decided on for this prologue thing starring Savitr is Atonal Dreams. I like how it sounds, and the meanings that could be extracted from it, and it connects well to Divine Dreams without adding any inelegant colons or subtitles.

I've spent this week working more on story planning, all while (still) wondering to what extent a well-planned story even matters for an indie game. Stories definitely have the potential to really stick with people, but I suppose they're not the primary thing with short games from little unknown developers? I don't know.

What I'm trying to do is have a general outline for all three parts of Divine Dreams, such that Atonal Dreams could heavily hint at and lead to those events in a sensible way (without requiring them to exist to be fulfilling in itself).

There's a lot of frustration involved when a creator makes up a series as they go along (such as with the Disney Star Wars trilogy, to use a not-really-comparable example). It's also frustrating for the creator; I know that from making MARDEK.

So I feel like this project's stuck in mud a bit at the moment, like showable progress is slow, because planning these things carefully takes time. Movie scripts typically take months, even years, and that's with multiple people doing just that role, usually! (The original Star Wars - again I know it's not really a fair comparison - ∞ had many different drafts over a couple of years before the final version emerged ∞, and that was before all the actual production.) I'm trying to do everything all at once by myself, and the burnout is real.

Having a clear plan will allow things to come along much more smoothly once the ball is rolling, but maybe it's best not to overplan now, since the whole idea with Atonal Dreams is to gauge whether Divine Dreams would even be viable. If not, then I'm only wasting my time planning it in detail now.

I think I've got enough planned for Atonal Dreams to make some more assets next week, so I should probably do that. It's important that I get to the point where I have stuff to show off for promotion sooner rather than later.

One of the things I've been doing as part of my planning is (re)drawing final designs of all the major characters in the story. I ∞ posted on my Patreon ∞ earlier in the week with these concept drawings of the four primary protagonists of Atonal Dreams:

Savitr is a renowned Seraph, who does what he can to bring light into the world to ease deep guilt he feels about past mistakes he made while not in his right mind.

Collie is excited to join Savitr as his Cherub apprentice, as he's been her hero since he saved her from the aggressive tribe in which she spent her volatile childhood. She wants to save people, like he saved her.

Ossoum is an eccentric, wimpy philosopher with a profound interest in the Drealm. He dispatches monsters using a machine he built together with his inventor wife, as he believes in suppressing emotions, despite talking like the narrator of a florid, pretentious (and poorly-written) novel while lamenting about the woes of the world.

Pierce grew up in the monastery of an order called the Beyond Ponderers (I called them the much blander 'Purple Monks' last week), who dwell on the eternal beyond. He's felt trapped and stifled there, so he summons monsters and bolts of lightning to express his volatile passions.

I've written about them in a bit more detail in the Patreon post, but I'll leave it at this for now. I've planned all of these characters, their story involvement, and their connections to other characters very thoroughly, but I can't exactly just blurt all that out here without spoiling everything!

They're all (loosely) based on characters from MARDEK, or their refined versions in Taming Dreams (Enki, Jacques/Donovan/Sharla (sort of) or just TD's Collie, Saul/Usaule/the depressed soul in Legion, Muriance), and I chose these four because I felt the overall story potential of exploring their beginnings here was greater than for any other characters.

Having two weird bald men and just one girl isn't exactly what I would have come up with if planning a box-tickingly diverse set of widely-appealing characters completely from scratch, but that's why it turned out this way!

I do wonder how they'll be perceived and received by people who don't have the background with them that I do, though. We'll see.

One of my patrons said they had a similar vibe to Earthbound, which I like as a comparison, since the quirky charm of that weird world won over many people, myself very much included.

Mental health and burnout issues have been consistently slowing things down more than I'd like for these past few weeks, and I'm very aware of things I should be doing but just keep putting off (choosing Discord mods, more research, etc). I'll get to them eventually! I hope. I'm getting at least something done every week, though. I probably need to make some lifestyle changes. Don't we all?

I do notice that interest in these posts has been waning rather than growing over time, though. Maybe I've talked about that already. Maybe it's just a lull and things will pick up once I start posting snazzier pictures, nearing completion, and doing promotion, or maybe I'll need to actually release this before more people will get on board. Currently my audience is people who played MARDEK years ago, so I need to release something new so then there's more than just nostalgia keeping people interested... It takes so much time, though, so I'm just trying to patiently stick with it for now.

Thanks to those of you who are patiently accompanying me on this journey!

6 COMMENTS

Maniafig222~4Y

I like Atonal Dreams! I'm glad you've settled on a name for it!

I think it really varies from game to game, some games market themselves exclusively on their gameplay and mechanical crunch, whereas others market themselves solely on their characters, story, plot and setting. Visual novels, walking simulators and the like are good examples of the latter sort of game!

Your game definitely scores high on the narrative front, and you've also got gameplay to boast about.

I imagine webcomic authors like Rich Burlew also feel similarly about their often more crude beginnings of their decades-spanning narratives! Then again, sometimes these restrictions and confinements can also be where authors have to be extra creative and wind up making something more interesting as a result. I feel like many of the late revisions to MARDEK 3 come across like that!

I do assume those big professional scripts take longer because the whole process around it entails more than just a single author and their vision, but also other departments like sets and graphical effects, audio tracks and music scores, actors and costumes and all that stuff.

Anyway, I do agree it's best not to plan TOO much already, in part just so you don't burn yourself out on work that doesn't yield any tangible, GIF-able results! I feel like some of the best ideas I've had come to me suddenly when I take my mind off the topic!

I've already talked about the designs on Patreon, so I won't discuss them again!

I did notice that it says Pierce grew up in the monastery. I wonder whether his parents were monks? Or is he an orphan they took in? Or did his parents just ditch him at the monastery? My, my, so much fuel for DRAMATIC BACKSTORY!

One of my quest series had a planned character who sort of reminds me of this, Destruction sentiment person in what could be called a cult and all. Always told not to question the divine too much, to turn off her critical mind and have faith, to follow mandates from above and whatnot, even if they might not feel right. It's all for the better.

Things didn't turn out well in the end, and she pinned all the blame on herself, so she wound up as a recluse who keeps others at a distance dreading she might lead them to destruction too.

But yes, I wish you best of luck with the continued development of Atonal Dreams! You're making steady progress week-by-week, even if not all progress directly corresponds to visuals to show off!

I like Atonal Dreams! I'm glad you've settled on a name for it!

I think it really varies from game to game, some games market themselves exclusively on their gameplay and mechanical crunch, whereas others market themselves solely on their characters, story, plot and setting. Visual novels, walking simulators and the like are good examples of the latter sort of game!

Your game definitely scores high on the narrative front, and you've also got gameplay to boast about.

I imagine webcomic authors like Rich Burlew also feel similarly about their often more crude beginnings of their decades-spanning narratives! Then again, sometimes these restrictions and confinements can also be where authors have to be extra creative and wind up making something more interesting as a result. I feel like many of the late revisions to MARDEK 3 come across like that!

I do assume those big professional scripts take longer because the whole process around it entails more than just a single author and their vision, but also other departments like sets and graphical effects, audio tracks and music scores, actors and costumes and all that stuff.

Anyway, I do agree it's best not to plan TOO much already, in part just so you don't burn yourself out on work that doesn't yield any tangible, GIF-able results! I feel like some of the best ideas I've had come to me suddenly when I take my mind off the topic!

I've already talked about the designs on Patreon, so I won't discuss them again!

I did notice that it says Pierce grew up in the monastery. I wonder whether his parents were monks? Or is he an orphan they took in? Or did his parents just ditch him at the monastery? My, my, so much fuel for DRAMATIC BACKSTORY!

One of my quest series had a planned character who sort of reminds me of this, Destruction sentiment person in what could be called a cult and all. Always told not to question the divine too much, to turn off her critical mind and have faith, to follow mandates from above and whatnot, even if they might not feel right. It's all for the better.

Things didn't turn out well in the end, and she pinned all the blame on herself, so she wound up as a recluse who keeps others at a distance dreading she might lead them to destruction too.

But yes, I wish you best of luck with the continued development of Atonal Dreams! You're making steady progress week-by-week, even if not all progress directly corresponds to visuals to show off!

kasheeste2133~4Y

As a recent follower of this series I'll go ahead and say, its not the two bald men and the girl that is worrying so much as the chaotic implications of everything. Atonal itself being without key or base, Savitr's baggage of being "not in his right mind," eccentric philosopher" roughly equating to raving lunatic, "volatile passions" once more being a polite way of saying severe mental illness. It sounds to me like there is ALOT going on, perhaps too much... looking at the pictures, Savtr looks like a pothead baked out of his mind trying to find a snack, Ossoum is straight out of Trainspotting and Pierce would definitely be a hit at a con if anyone remembers what Marshal Applewhite. (Heaven's Gate leader) I trust that there is more them it than this simplistic interpenetration and it does make me curious to know more but I'd be lying if I denied being dismayed with how they are presented.

Tobias 1115~4Y

That's certainly an interesting interpretation. I wonder if it'd be what other people might see too.

Mental illness has pervaded and consumed my whole life, and I'm interested in exploring that through games because it's something I know well. It seems I'm not the only indie dev who does this, though I wonder if the only ones who succeed are those who package it more palatably, or who go with full-on horror instead.

What's your attitude towards - and experience with - mental illness?

It's a shame that tired eyes can evoke either world-weariness or being stoned, and the scrawny look is shared both by stereotypical nerds and heroin addicts (though of course I was going for the former for both Savitr and Ossoum). Pierce would end up becoming a cult leader though, and I was thinking of punks when coming up with this younger version of him. The story begins with you battling against him.

I'm hoping the characters will be interesting, but everyone has different ideas of what's interesting. What kind of characters do you find interesting?

That's certainly an interesting interpretation. I wonder if it'd be what other people might see too.

Mental illness has pervaded and consumed my whole life, and I'm interested in exploring that through games because it's something I know well. It seems I'm not the only indie dev who does this, though I wonder if the only ones who succeed are those who package it more palatably, or who go with full-on horror instead.

What's your attitude towards - and experience with - mental illness?

It's a shame that tired eyes can evoke either world-weariness or being stoned, and the scrawny look is shared both by stereotypical nerds and heroin addicts (though of course I was going for the former for both Savitr and Ossoum). Pierce would end up becoming a cult leader though, and I was thinking of punks when coming up with this younger version of him. The story begins with you battling against him.

I'm hoping the characters will be interesting, but everyone has different ideas of what's interesting. What kind of characters do you find interesting?

kasheeste2133~4Y

That's a complicated question... I'm fairly certain I could write a novel on my attitudes and experience with mental illness. (and have been typing/erasing for nearly 30 minutes searching for wording) There are of course two ways to look at the issue; the personal and the societal and suffice it to say my opinion of either is probably not the healthiest. The problem of course being that mental illness is simultaneously a more and less serious matter then people treat it nowadays. People who are actually mentally ill can't get the help they need while people who are "mentally ill" get more help than they deserve. Its not the fault of the system, its not the fault of society; it is purely upon the individual. This is why I find the attempt to overtly display mentally illness so troubling; the guy standing on a bridge yelling "stay away" is such a misrepresentation compared to the much more prevalent "I didn't see it coming." aka Robyn Williams. Of course in all forms of media you're only going to get the flamboyant outliers; Sara Goldfarb is so much less interesting to the masses than your psycho slaughterer of choice. Of course, as always I feel horrible typing this... a whole Saint in the forest moment of sorts alas it should be said.
As for what I'd like to see, it really doesn't matter. You're the one with the master plan and vision, I'm just here to bounce ideas around not as criticism but as an extra set of eyes. In this case those extra set of eyes see three characters all bearing the burden's of the past and letting that weight control their present. Its not explicitly an issue and could in fact be an intentional common thread for story driving although your concern for cast diversity would lead me to think otherwise.

That's a complicated question... I'm fairly certain I could write a novel on my attitudes and experience with mental illness. (and have been typing/erasing for nearly 30 minutes searching for wording) There are of course two ways to look at the issue; the personal and the societal and suffice it to say my opinion of either is probably not the healthiest. The problem of course being that mental illness is simultaneously a more and less serious matter then people treat it nowadays. People who are actually mentally ill can't get the help they need while people who are "mentally ill" get more help than they deserve. Its not the fault of the system, its not the fault of society; it is purely upon the individual. This is why I find the attempt to overtly display mentally illness so troubling; the guy standing on a bridge yelling "stay away" is such a misrepresentation compared to the much more prevalent "I didn't see it coming." aka Robyn Williams.  Of course in all forms of media you're only going to get the flamboyant outliers; Sara Goldfarb is so much less interesting to the masses than your psycho slaughterer of choice. Of course, as always I feel horrible typing this... a whole Saint in the forest moment of sorts alas it should be said. 
As for what I'd like to see, it really doesn't matter. You're the one with the master plan and vision, I'm just here to bounce ideas around not as criticism but as an extra set of eyes. In this case those extra set of eyes see three characters all bearing the burden's of the past and letting that weight control their present. Its not explicitly an issue and could in fact be an intentional common thread for story driving although your concern for cast diversity would lead me to think otherwise.

Tobias 1115~4Y

I can understand that. There are other issues where I feel like the more superficial examples give the more genuinely needy a bad name.

I'm not planning for these characters to be blatantly Mentally Ill as a character trait necessarily. Though I suppose it depends on what you consider mental illness. Do you feel that everyone who grew up maladjusted due to being raised in a broken home is mentally ill? Is Marvel's Loki mentally ill? Or Sephiroth?

With these four characters, Savitr is driven by guilt due to what I'd call a fantasy-fied metaphor for mental illness, which I hope will be interesting as it's revealed in the plot.

Collie's a bit maladjusted, but it's something that'd only emerge when the plot puts her under a lot of stress; she'd seem 'normal' - as much as someone so far from that such as myself can write, at least - from the start.

Ossoum's inspired in part by the depressed voice in MARDEK's Legion, which was inspired by Marvin the Paranoid Android from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which from what I can recall was Douglas Adams' attempt to find comedy in his own depression by making an absurd caricature of it. That character was a fan favourite.

Pierce is essentially a grandiose villain type, who becomes a cult leader later; he's only mentally ill in the same way that you could say any Mad Scientist archetype or generic Evil Villain type is.

I suppose I'd say Savitr is a more deep and nuanced exploration of mental illness, and Collie's his foil or comic relief for the most part, to avoid him dragging things down too much, though she has depths of her own which emerge over time. Ossoum and Pierce are mostly just comical caricatures, though I'm also using them to explore conflicting beliefs, not mental illness.

I can understand that. There are other issues where I feel like the more superficial examples give the more genuinely needy a bad name.

I'm not planning for these characters to be blatantly Mentally Ill as a character trait necessarily. Though I suppose it depends on what you consider mental illness. Do you feel that everyone who grew up maladjusted due to being raised in a broken home is mentally ill? Is Marvel's Loki mentally ill? Or Sephiroth?

With these four characters, Savitr is driven by guilt due to what I'd call a fantasy-fied metaphor for mental illness, which I hope will be interesting as it's revealed in the plot.

Collie's a bit maladjusted, but it's something that'd only emerge when the plot puts her under a lot of stress; she'd seem 'normal' - as much as someone so far from that such as myself can write, at least - from the start.

Ossoum's inspired in part by the depressed voice in MARDEK's Legion, which was inspired by Marvin the Paranoid Android from the Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy, which from what I can recall was Douglas Adams' attempt to find comedy in his own depression by making an absurd caricature of it. That character was a fan favourite.

Pierce is essentially a grandiose villain type, who becomes a cult leader later; he's only mentally ill in the same way that you could say any Mad Scientist archetype or generic Evil Villain type is.

I suppose I'd say Savitr is a more deep and nuanced exploration of mental illness, and Collie's his foil or comic relief for the most part, to avoid him dragging things down too much, though she has depths of her own which emerge over time. Ossoum and Pierce are mostly just comical caricatures, though I'm also using them to explore conflicting beliefs, not mental illness.

kasheeste2133~4Y

Being maladjusted doesn't need to equate mental illness. You asked about my personal experiences earlier. I was raised in an obscenely religious household (think borderline cult), and was 'homeschooled' such that the other children might not spread their evil ways unto my young impressionable soul. As you might imagine, that lead to, in my opinion, rather severe maladjustment upon my introduction to the real world. Naturally this has led to decades of searching for my identity, mistrust in the world around me and an overarching depression stemming from lack of foundation. However, this did not become mental illness due to its controlled and measured nature. Searching for meaning is normal, depression is normal, mistrust is normal. They're all part of the human condition regardless of when and how undertaken, and so long as you (used in the collective sense) don't let them run amok then there is no issue.

I'm afraid I can't speak to the marvel characters as I've long grown tired of their cookie cutter and in my opinion dreadful styling but if I had to guess they're the extraordinarily overused "bad guy but maybe if you look hard enough he's actually the good guy... nope definitely the bad guy trying to take over the world 'for its own good' based on their outlook/delusion." in which case the answer is no. They are allowed to think the world needs saving from itself, if recent events have taught us nothing they're probably right; the issue with these characters is their criminal acts to achieve their goals. Which of course devolves into whether criminality is in itself mental illness, to which it absolutely is not.

Savitr being driven by guilt is perfectly fine. Guilt is a healthy emotion, and it would be much more of an issue should he not feel guilt, especially with his being a seraph and the religious significance of contrition being the first step towards Christ. (like it or not, you chose the concept of the seraphim has it's baggage.) The issue arises with the qualifier "while not in his right mind." indicating a history, perhaps pattern of disassociative behavior to the point of involving actions so disturbing that guilt and seeking atonement has become his defining personality trait.
Collie is perfectly normal as far as I can tell. Having and trying to emulate a a hero is rather common and very likely healthy.
Ossum/legion is significantly more tricky. Legion was able to pull it off due to the explanation of having multiple souls, each with its own thoughts and emotions; not all that dissimilar to Mardek/Rohoph when you think of it. Within one person, of one mind, it would certainly cross lines.

Pierce brings us full circle to the whole criminality-mental illness discussion. He does not necessarily have to be mentally ill depending on how the story is told. It all depends on whether his actions are a means to an end or the end in and of themselves. He could be summoning monsters and lightning for a coldly calculated and ironically acceptable reason ie. greed, vengeance, even boredom. In contrast there is the current light he has been cast, the frustrated purple monk who has lost control of their emotion and from this wroth summoning ills upon the world.
I suppose all in all it really just depends on how they're presented in the final product. This is merely commentary of the impression I garnered trying to read between the lines.

I'm afraid I can't speak to the marvel characters as I've long grown tired of their cookie cutter and in my opinion dreadful styling but if I had to guess they're the extraordinarily overused "bad guy but maybe if you look hard enough he's actually the good guy... nope definitely the bad guy trying to take over the world 'for its own good' based on their outlook/delusion." in which case the answer is no. They are allowed to think the world needs saving from itself, if recent events have taught us nothing they're probably right; the issue with these characters is their criminal acts to achieve their goals. Which of course devolves into whether criminality is in itself mental illness, to which it absolutely is not.

Savitr being driven by guilt is perfectly fine. Guilt is a healthy emotion, and it would be much more of an issue should he not feel guilt, especially with his being  a seraph and the religious significance of contrition being the first step towards Christ. (like it or not, you chose the concept of the seraphim has it's baggage.) The issue arises with the qualifier "while not in his right mind." indicating a history, perhaps pattern of disassociative behavior to the point of involving actions so disturbing that guilt and seeking atonement has become his defining personality trait. 
Collie is perfectly normal as far as I can tell. Having and trying to emulate a a hero is rather common and very likely healthy. 
Ossum/legion is significantly more tricky. Legion was able to pull it off due to the explanation of having multiple souls, each with its own thoughts and emotions; not all that dissimilar to Mardek/Rohoph when you think of it. Within one person, of one mind, it would certainly cross lines.

Pierce brings us full circle to the whole criminality-mental illness discussion. He does not necessarily have to be mentally ill depending on how the story is told. It all depends on whether his actions are a means to an end or the end  in and of themselves. He could be summoning monsters and lightning for a coldly calculated and ironically acceptable reason ie. greed, vengeance,  even boredom. In contrast there is the current light he has been cast, the frustrated purple monk who has lost control of their emotion and from this wroth summoning ills upon the world. 
I suppose all in all it really just depends on how they're presented in the final product. This is merely commentary of the impression I garnered trying to read between the lines.