Alora Fane

I announced the start of the third alpha test of Atonal Dreams on Monday... but so far only one person has provided feedback. It's discouraging, but I blame myself!

I think a couple of people have also mentioned feedback on Discord, briefly, but only one person has written something in the Steam forum thing I set up specifically for gathering feedback. Unless I've missed something!

So ehhh. I've done a bunch of beta/alpha tests over the years - with my Flash games originally, then with Memody: Sindrel Song and now Atonal Dreams - and I think this might be the quietest one so far?

But I genuinely can't remember! My memory's been so terrible lately (I've been meaning to write a post about that in more detail, but... I want to say "I keep forgetting" because that's (ostensibly) funny, but it's more like a lack of motivation and mental energy as I've written about before). Maybe they always go like this! The tests!

I do blame myself though, in the sense that I don't feel that I really pushed as hard as I perhaps should have to even raise awareness, etc. I've just felt very... distracted, apathetic, something like that, this time around.

(Though it being the third go around probably inspired such feelings - or a lack of any feelings - in others, very different to the singular betas I've probably done for all my previous projects... though again I can't remember!)

And beginning the testing on a Monday wasn't exactly the wisest thing in the world. I did that because that's when my work week starts, but I should have been more considerate of others' work schedules and started on a Saturday. Oh well; I will in future, if I even do any more tests ever again.

And I'm hoping that I'm at the point with Atonal Dreams that I won't have to do another, and that the next step will be a public demo instead... but we'll see.

I should also post on Reddit or something. I'm not nearly as anxious about the idea as I was a year or two ago, but I feel like I should play others' games, comment on their projects, before presenting mine... and I've yet to find the time or mental energy; the same issue as always. Feels like there just isn't enough time in each day!

I intended to spend this week continuing to fix remaining Atonal Dreams things - half the stuff on my To Do List is still unfinished - but instead ended up 'waiting for feedback' and doing other stuff, like composing some music.

I've only composed 18 things this year, which isn't as many as I'd like! Compared to how I composed in the past, these days I'm much more... careful? Precious? Something like that? I used to just start a piece, finish in under an hour, and call it done and never edit it after that. Now, I spend several days just tweaking details endlessly even for simple pieces I won't use for anything, which I feel leads to better results, but obviously consumes more time.

I still haven't got around to posting any music on YouTube though! I actually have got the first video file ready and everything, but...

I don't know. I used to feel so excited about posting stuff online, so eager to get feedback, build a community... These days I just want to hide away from everything, and the thought of the steps ahead for Atonal Dreams - where I'll have to do the exact opposite - weighs down on me if I give it any mental space at all.

I just keep distracting myself, mentally disengaging, avoiding.

I'm hoping it's just the sort of thing where, once I get started, it'll be easy to keep the ball rolling... It's just making the first step that's the hardest, as is often the case.

I recently saw ∞ this long post-mortem ∞ about an indie game by a solo developer that I've not played - though maybe I should - but which I've been at least vaguely following the development of since I decided a few months (years??) ago that "I should engage more with other indie devs!!" and added a bunch of them all at once on Twitter.

(Though the only time I so much as open Twitter is to post a single tweet each time I write one of these blog posts, so I've not seen most of what any of them have shared).

I like reading about the human experience behind the creation of things. Something that stood out to me was how he said the game became his entire life in a way that wouldn't make sense to other people who've not devoted themselves so wholly to a project. Makes perfect sense and is deeply relatable to me. Sad as it is, Atonal Dreams pretty much is my life at the moment.

Which is why my feelings are so easily swayed by the turnout of things like alpha tests, and why I'm so reluctant to promote it in case it's found profoundly wanting. I am really proud of it, and I love it! But I know that's not enough. Or at least I need to pay the bills somehow, someday, I suppose.

He also mentioned it was his first game, which he quit a job he hated to wholly focus on. I get the feeling a lot of indie devs - the majority? - are working on their first game. Maybe because most are sane enough to either use it as a stepping stone to a career, if they were sufficiently successful, or, for probably the majority, they learn it's a waste of time and go on to do something else.

I mean, that's what I already did, years ago, but fell back into this rather reluctantly... as I've written about many times before.

Makes me wonder though whether posting "I'M THE GUY WOH MADE MAREKD PRGP!!" or whatever would be met with "ooh!"s or just... nothing, no recognition. I suppose I'll find out soon.

He also mentions befriending and having regular talks with other indie devs kept him sane through the process. I should keep that in mind.

But anyway. I'll keep waiting over the weekend to see if any more feedback comes in, then starting Monday I'll work on fixing some more stuff.

After that, I'll work on setting up some promotional stuff - images, videos, etc - and post on Reddit; maybe the response I get will help lift my mood and motivate me to get out there or something. I can but hope!

For now, I've been really enjoying focusing on other stuff for a while. Maybe I'm more burned out than I thought!

Oh, and I have another routine brain scan next week to see if the cancer's back. So maybe that's eating away at me too, subconsciously. Ugh.

9 COMMENTS

Lordofsea19~2Y

If you should promote yourself as the creator of MARDEK? Obviously. There is no question that you should use those kinds of marketing methods.

You seem to worry that it would seem strange or like a weird brag to do this - but trust me, the only one who thinks these thoughts are you.

When you see a trailer for a game, do you ever believe that it's the creator themselves that made the trailer? I don't. If you made a trailer for your game, and tried to sell it as hard as possible - people wouldn't even think of who made the trailer. They would consider whether the game seems interesting or not.

I don't think your game will sell as well as it could if you don't take a slightly more cynical route when marketing. You should post on forums where many people can see it. Hell, if you post the right content in the right place on reddit, you will guarantee tens of thousands of viewers. That's 100x more viewers than this blog post currently has. Probability alone says that at least some of them will be interested enough to follow you and keep tabs on the game.

I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I am very worried that this project will not go your way. This worry comes from your lack of marketing. This blog is simply not sufficient to gather a following - it's almost like an echo chamber in here, is it not?

You seem to be the greatest barrier to your own success. Too self-conscious? You really do have an interesting project here, but it seems you are denying yourself to share it with the world. Which is a shame, because I really want to see you succeed - and you basically have all the means at your disposal to do so.

Regards,

Jarl

If you should promote yourself as the creator of MARDEK? Obviously. There is no question that you should use those kinds of marketing methods.

You seem to worry that it would seem strange or like a weird brag to do this - but trust me, the only one who thinks these thoughts are you.

When you see a trailer for a game, do you ever believe that it's the creator themselves that made the trailer? I don't. If you made a trailer for your game, and tried to sell it as hard as possible - people wouldn't even think of who made the trailer. They would consider whether the game seems interesting or not.

I don't think your game will sell as well as it could if you don't take a slightly more cynical route when marketing. You should post on forums where many people can see it. Hell, if you post the right content in the right place on reddit, you will guarantee tens of thousands of viewers. That's 100x more viewers than this blog post currently has. Probability alone says that at least some of them will be interested enough to follow you and keep tabs on the game.

I'm sorry if I seem harsh, but I am very worried that this project will not go your way. This worry comes from your lack of marketing. This blog is simply not sufficient to gather a following - it's almost like an echo chamber in here, is it not?

You seem to be the greatest barrier to your own success. Too self-conscious? You really do have an interesting project here, but it seems you are denying yourself to share it with the world. Which is a shame, because I really want to see you succeed - and you basically have all the means at your disposal to do so.

Regards,

Jarl

Tobias 1115~2Y

I may be insane, but not so insane that I think I'd limit my outreach to this blog! I've been intending to get to the point where I have enough stuff to show that's reflective of the final game before promoting it; I didn't want to show off screenshots, gifs, and videos that would mislead people, or which might get people attached to ideas I'd later want to scrap.

I'm almost at this point now and I'll definitely be posting in relevant subreddits soonish. I'm also aware though that people over on reddit can be very hostile to what they perceive as any kind of advertising, and are quick to harshly shoot down anyone trying to promote themselves; I've seen this a bunch of times before and seen people discussing it as a trend as well (specifically in the gaming-related spaces).

So I'll need to do a bit of research into where and when would be best to post stuff. I would and probably should have been doing this throughout the entire process, but I'm already doing the jobs of a whole team alone while dealing with mental illness, so there's only so much I can manage.

I don't have the personality for marketing though in the same way some hard-arsed drill sargeant wouldn't be the best grief counsellor. So it's going to be a struggle for me. And I can't just flip a switch and suddenly be essentially the opposite of what I am. That's not how minds work.

I'm almost at this point now and I'll definitely be posting in relevant subreddits soonish. I'm also aware though that people over on reddit can be very hostile to what they perceive as any kind of advertising, and are quick to harshly shoot down anyone trying to promote themselves; I've seen this a bunch of times before and seen people discussing it as a trend as well (specifically in the gaming-related spaces).

So I'll need to do a bit of research into where and when would be best to post stuff. I would and probably should have been doing this throughout the entire process, but I'm already doing the jobs of a whole team alone while dealing with mental illness, so there's only so much I can manage.

I don't have the personality for marketing though in the same way some hard-arsed drill sargeant wouldn't be the best grief counsellor. So it's going to be a struggle for me. And I can't just flip a switch and suddenly be essentially the opposite of what I am. That's not how minds work.

Lordofsea19~2Y

I realize the immense pressure you must be going through with this project. I certainly hope you don't think that I'm trying to tell you what to do! I'm worried that I come off that way sometimes.

Needless to say that I have a lot of respect for what you're doing. I simply cannot imagine the discipline needed for a one-man project of this scale. It really is admirable. It's easy for me (and everyone else) to sit and point out things without knowing your processes.

Regards.

IHATENAMES11~2Y

Stupid question that I am sure is answered somewhere. Without being a patron is there a way to test the game? Was a long fan of Mardek from about 2016 2017ish . Not saying this is Mardeks replacement but it is in a simular Vein and I would be interested in trying it.

At a glance I know it's your new art style but it throws me for a loop. Im comparing it to tales of symphonia art and trying to see why it bugsmewithoutagood answer. Maybe im looking for Mardek esc simple graphic . (ive glanced here a few times a year without commenting. New account although i had one with a similar name before forgot passowrd xc).

MaxDes45~2Y

If you're still taking testers, I could try it this weekend and write down my thoughts. Let me know!

Tobias 1115~2Y

I only just saw this message now, so I suppose the weekend's already passed, whoops! Are you one of my patrons? Maybe I already gave you access and forgot!

MaxDes45~2Y

I'm not a patron, I'm out of the loop I didn't know if this was a patron only thing

peregrine1~2Y

I understand the apprehension about promoting yourself as 'the Mardek guy returning', partly because I do feel that Atonal Dreams stands to disappoint people who loved the old games but didn't keep up with you in the mean time. I think its clear if you sit and appreciate it that the things going on here are developments on creative concepts, that you have been working on for as long as you've been making games, but I also think a lot of people might see it, not see the goofy 90's JRPG that Mardek was trying to be and be disappointed. I think you should definitely consider invoking it as a credential, but maybe not as the marketing gimmick for the project.

I think projects that trade on an association like so, but aren't direct sequels, tend to be poorly received. The cases that come to my mind are triple a titles, Kingdoms of Amalur sold itself on the brand of TES:Oblivion because some former Bethesda guys were on the team; The Outer Worlds sold itself on the Fallout: New Vegas brand recognition because it was by the same development studio making it. In each case, a good number of people who do buy the game are left wanting because they *expected* a carbon copy of the brand piece, but got something that iterated on it or reinvented it in some way, which is exactly what Atonal Dreams seems to be in regards to Mardek, a reinvention.

I think, instead, you could use Mardek perhaps as a credential, something showing this isn't your *first game*, but primarily market the game based upon its own merits, an try to attract an audience from outside of your prior fanbase. Also considering your trauma related to that period, it's probably best to leave that as a "past life" so to speak.

That said, I think it might also be time to reconsider maintaining some community, as stressful as that may be. If you started a discord, you'd have a place to direct people who are interested in the project to further resources and other people who are interested in the game to talk about it, and that discourse itself is a valuable contribution to the project. They provide a more responsive environment to provide teasers to, collect testers from, and so on, than this blog seems to. Eventually, you'll be able to appoint moderators, and it can become a hands off process. Look at me, I'm saying this like you don't know what discord is, or have one even.

However you go about it, I think cultivating an audience of fresh interest rather than interest in your game from over a decade ago would be best, and that audience would be more receptive to future productions of yours than one made up of people who were into your old games.

I think projects that trade on an association like so, but aren't direct sequels, tend to be poorly received. The cases that come to my mind are triple a titles, Kingdoms of Amalur sold itself on the brand of TES:Oblivion because some former Bethesda guys were on the team; The Outer Worlds sold itself on the Fallout: New Vegas brand recognition because it was by the same development studio making it. In each case, a good number of people who do buy the game are left wanting because they *expected* a carbon copy of the brand piece, but got something that iterated on it or reinvented it in some way, which is exactly what Atonal Dreams seems to be in regards to Mardek, a reinvention.

I think, instead, you could use Mardek perhaps as a credential, something showing this isn't your *first game*, but primarily market the game based upon its own merits, an try to attract an audience from outside of your prior fanbase. Also considering your trauma related to that period, it's probably best to leave that as a "past life" so to speak.

That said, I think it might also be time to reconsider maintaining some community, as stressful as that may be. If you started a discord, you'd have a place to direct people who are interested in the project to further resources and other people who are interested in the game to talk about it, and that discourse itself is a valuable contribution to the project. They provide a more responsive environment to provide teasers to, collect testers from, and so on, than this blog seems to. Eventually, you'll be able to appoint moderators, and it can become a hands off process. Look at me, I'm saying this like you don't know what discord is, or have one even.

However you go about it, I think cultivating an audience of fresh interest rather than interest in your game from over a decade ago would be best, and that audience would be more receptive to future productions of yours than one made up of people who were into your old games.

Tobias 1115~2Y

I've been intending/hoping for a while to grow a new audience since it's fairly clear that people who are hoping for a MARDEK IV and absolutely nothing else won't exactly respond positively to Atonal Dreams (to my great chagrin, though I do understand).

But something like "from the creator of MARDEK" seems like it could help me stand out among other unknown indies... maybe?

I'm planning to test the waters by posting something in indie dev communities to the effect of "I made these Flash games in the past that people liked, and I'm making something different now, how should I go about marketing it?" to see if they have any wisdom to share.

And if I do a Kickstarter, it seems to be normal for those to include novels' worth of text in their descriptions, so I think that'd be a good place to explain my journey since MARDEK and why I'm making this now and not that. Maybe.

I think about starting a new community all the time, but I'm also reminded of how much of a relief it is to not have some toxic community to worry about every day all the time as well. I do have a Discord server already, though only for Patreon patrons (as you may or may not be aware); I keep thinking about opening it up to the public since it's quite quiet currently. But getting to the point where I can even choose moderators (which would require enough familiarity with people to know how they'll interact with the community, whether they share my values, etc) just feels like such an enormous weight on top of all the other jobs I'm trying to handle alone for almost no pay, so I just keep putting it off.

But something like "from the creator of MARDEK" seems like it could help me stand out among other unknown indies... maybe?

I'm planning to test the waters by posting something in indie dev communities to the effect of "I made these Flash games in the past that people liked, and I'm making something different now, how should I go about marketing it?" to see if they have any wisdom to share.

And if I do a Kickstarter, it seems to be normal for those to include novels' worth of text in their descriptions, so I think that'd be a good place to explain my journey since MARDEK and why I'm making this now and not that. Maybe.

I think about starting a new community all the time, but I'm also reminded of how much of a relief it is to not have some toxic community to worry about every day all the time as well. I do have a Discord server already, though only for Patreon patrons (as you may or may not be aware); I keep thinking about opening it up to the public since it's quite quiet currently. But getting to the point where I can even choose moderators (which would require enough familiarity with people to know how they'll interact with the community, whether they share my values, etc) just feels like such an enormous weight on top of all the other jobs I'm trying to handle alone for almost no pay, so I just keep putting it off.