Alora Fane

I saw a person about my mental health issues yesterday, who told me to eat better and go for walks. Thanks, I'm cured. Also, I hate cooking.

The job title of the person I saw was 'Occupational Therapist', and she seemed to have no background in Psychology, though I'll be seeing her again next week so I'll be curious to ask about that.

I was extremely anxious before going out to see her, not because of anything about the appointment itself - once it started, the anxiety entirely lifted - but because I've been an isolated shut-in for so long that it was essentially a kind of withdrawal from that.

She was in her fifties, and seemed pragmatic and extroverted in ways that clashed with how I am. She seemed frustrated by and reluctant to use technology, insisting on giving me printed hand-outs and dismissing the idea I could keep track of things on my phone.

There's a concept called 'psychological mindedness' which was explained early in the first year of my Psychology course: essentially, some people are inclined to analyse behaviours in psychological terms, to figure out what's going on, while others are averse to the very idea (and I suppose commonly hold the belief that minds are essentially malleable and all behaviour is deliberate and susceptible to simple redirection).

She seemed to fall into the latter category, reacting with frustration and trying to redirect me when I attempted to explain some things in academic terms that encapsulate concepts better than trying to use several adjectives to do the same.

Like... Imagine a teacher with two students with the extremely common name Binglefump McTrogglestelch, one of which is black and the other white. One misbehaves, which the teacher has to explain to the headmaster... but she doesn't want to seem like a racist by saying 'the black one', so she instead says 'the, uh... taller one, with the shorter hair'. Avoiding some succinct and useful descriptor due to underlying beliefs.

I notice most people who don't have a psychological-mindedness approach to behaviour regard psychological labels as prescriptive and essentially dangerous rather than purely descriptive ("if you start calling yourself depressed, you'll act all moody to try and fit the label, so give up the label"), and this was the case I got here too. Frustrating.

We talked for about two hours, and my problems are complex with no simple solution. But she had to do something, so she said I should work on improving my diet and getting more exercise.

Which feels like telling someone with a gaping chest wound to 'just take a rest'.

I certainly don't eat well or exercise often. But the main issues I face relate to isolation, trauma, and poor rolls of the dice which mean I haven't had the chance encounters that others' happy lives blossomed from.

I found it interesting, back when I spent a couple of months lurking around some incel subreddits before they were banned, how many of the members went to the gym regularly and obsessed about their physical health, but that in itself wasn't enough to save them from the specific species of demons that held them in their grasp. They made memes - in the lingo sense rather than just images - out of mocking the banal platitudes the luckier 'normies' gave them to escape their cursed pit ("just have a shower, bro").

More generally, there's a subreddit called ∞ r/thanksimcured ∞ for collecting this kind of "to be rich just earn money" kind of 'advice'. I think I've probably mentioned it on this blog before.

That frustration vented, I am aware that there's science backing the idea that diet and exercise help at least somewhat, and I should work on them alongside everything else even if they're not in themselves the solution to the primary problems.

I'll start by going out for more walks. Now that the weather's improving, this should be easier anyway. I'll aim to go for at least one walk every day this week. That's not nothing.

More difficult though is diet. Mine's always been fairly poor. When I was little, food was scarce because my lovely father spent most of his dole money on alcohol, and certainly didn't cook for us; my younger brother and I had to navigate the literal rubbish dump of a kitchen to cook frozen chicken nuggets on a never-washed grill, which we'd then eat off paper plates. Hardly set me up for a positive relationship with food.

(Though bizzarely, that brother now seems to be a professional chef, so the fault is likely more due to whatever's wrong with my specific brain than the environment.)

Later in life, social anxiety meant I was often too scared to go into the shared kitchens at uni, and my gregarious step-dad randomly invites his friends and family over and into the kitchen here, so I've got used to 'cooking' things I can bung in the microwave for five minutes and then quickly escape afterwards.

'Microwave meals' tend to be listed among the 'DON'T EAT THESE THINGS YOU FOOL' foods in healthy eating guides.

Over the years, I've looked into all kinds of ways to improve my diet. Many, many recipe books and apps. But even things explicitly for beginners assume a level of competence and interest in the cooking process that I just simply don't have.

I touched on this with the 'OT' (as she referred to her profession), who didn't seem to get it, even after I used a hypothetical example of a programming tutorial for complete beginners telling you to "set up a new class and add a couple of public int variables", to which she immediately turned away and said "no no no you're talking a different language!"; this kind of "I don't understand that and don't WANT to understand it" reaction people tend to have to things that fall far outside their areas of interest and expertise.

That's what cooking is like for me. I don't understand things, and I'm as interested in trying to understand them as I am in watching an hour-long video essay about the historical geopolitical landscape of Uzbekistan or something.

The most complex thing I can make is boiling pasta and adding microwaved sauce, which takes about 15 minutes and feels like an ordeal I can barely tolerate.

I was just checking recipe suggestions yet again, explicitly searching for 'recipes for people who hate cooking', and saw things that 'only' include 9 ingredients or 'super simple' meals that take 15 minutes of preparation and 4 hours to cook.

Plus I'm a picky eater, and I don't like the look of meals that to me resemble what I see in a food disposal bin: a messy tangle or stuff all just dumped together.

∞ This one at least looks from the image more like the sort of thing I'd want to eat. ∞ The mess of a page begins with the unnecessary life story that I've seen more tropes about than I've ever encountered it in the wild; weird that that seems to be par for the course. It has five ingredients, most of which I have no familiarity with, and I don't understand the point of adding teaspoons of multiple flavourings because I have no experience of food made that way. The recipe also requires first leaving the whole thing overnight and then cooking for 8 hours the next day.

I suspect that wait is a bit more extreme than most, but I just can't get my head around even wanting to spend ages preparing something so ephemeral, which will take less time to consume than was spent bringing it into being. It just feels like such a waste of time to me.

I'd surely feel differently if I was raised in a house where this kind of cooking was just a normal background feature. Anything alien feels perplexing unless directly experienced.

The leap between 1 or 0 ingredients (depending on how you look at a microwave meal) and a 5 minute 'cooking' time in total and that is just too vast.

And I've never managed to find anything that bridges the gap, which is suited for people who have neither the skills nor the interest in developing them.

My ideal meal would be... well, something similar to what I do now, I suppose. Something I take out of the fridge, put in the microwave or - though this feels far more tedious - a single pan, press a button, then wait about five minutes and then I'm done. Something which requires a list of spices and things and implements I've never even heard of and/or takes a big chunk of an hour or more evokes the same revulsion as if I'd been asked to masturbate a dolphin or something. I don't LIKE wanking cetaceans!! And where would I even get a dolphin??

Ugh. Anyway. I don't drink, or do any drugs, or eat snacks at random (I eat two small chocolates every day, that's it), which probably already means my diet is less unhealthy than a significant chunk of people. And how many people eat ideal diets anyway? This woman's figure was hardly that of a health nut.

I was also told that I'd be getting a call from someone who'll be able to tell me about some local groups and clubs I could go to. Whoopee! I've never tried that before! Certainly not like a dozen times over several years which bore absolutely no fruit because they were all full of people decades older than me because younger people in sleepy seaside towns just don't go to them!

I mean, I'll still give things a try, but... ugh. It's just so frustrating and I'm frustrated (can you tell??) because I've been down this path several times before and I know from direct experience that it doesn't work, at least for me. But it's not as if there are any better options either. Sometimes there are only bad options.

I actually felt really good directly after talking to this person just because I'd got the opportunity to interact with someone in a deeper, personal, one-on-one way in the real world, which is what I feel so starved of, but which seems so tragically hard to find. At least in my less-than-lucky experience.

I also got a phone call from one of my three remaining friends - whose presence in my life is a reminder of what eventually did work - after the appointment, and I suggested going to see her next week... where I'll likely spend the whole time listening to her vent about her self-absorbed bad boy boyfriend's latest mistakes. I'm grateful to know at least someone, and there are positives to our connection, but...

Bleh, I'm just too bitter and frustrated at the moment; shouldn't really be writing. But it helps to get it out.

I should prepare some music to upload, then go for a walk.

I just got a call from the other person while reviewing this post... though not to say anything other than that she'll have a proper talk with me next week. Better than just hanging over me for weeks with no idea about when the call would come, at least.

19 COMMENTS

LotBlind53~2Y

Finding just a reasonable therapist match seems like Tinder dating to me too :P I think I'd gladly take the HealthyGamerGG guy (runs a channel by that name) but I think he doesn't do therapy work anymore.

(I'm trying an online service called BetterHelp in case you hadn't thought about online therapy before... but let's assume you have)

Tobias 1115~2Y

I've seen youtubers promoting BetterHelp, and I've considered it, but for me just having somewhere physically to go so I have an excuse to get out of the house is a big part of it, so remote/online help wouldn't be enough. I understand much of the psychology, after all; it's the practical opportunities I'm lacking.

LotBlind53~2Y

BTW: For easy "cookery", I've sometimes just gotten some carrots. If they're not dirty, don't even have to peel them I think. Just munch away and enjoy the vitamins.

Then if you care to peel something, this extends into other veggies too. And at least our shops have sprouts in little boxes that you don't even have to rinse. I buy those sometimes when I'm knackered and can't be bothered with making the usual three-ingredient salad.

Tobias 1115~2Y

I've always been a picky eater, maybe largely due to the complete lack of options when I was little (though my younger brother seems not to have been similarly afflicted). It took me months of repeated, effortful attempts back in uni before I could stomach eating a banana, for example. I'd probably recoil at raw carrots in the same way other Westerners would towards eating insects, unfortunately.

I like broccoli, and I suppose cutting florets off a head of that is something cooking-like that I occassionally attempt. But it's a hassle so I usually get broccoli intending to do it then don't. I've tried to get precut small florets before, but they're way more expensive and still huge and in need of cutting up!

Slothboy2531~2Y

I'm mostly confused by what you were expecting, but maybe that's related to your in-the-moment frustration. What were you expecting that left you so frustrated?

If you see a general counselor or OT, you get general lifestyle advice and help. If you need treatment for the mental equivalent of a gaping chest wound, you go see a psychiatrist and/or consider inpatient care at a psychiatric hospital. There's nothing wrong with either, they just cater to different levels of needs.

On cooking: I would personally say the problem lies less with cooking guides and more with your lack of interest in spending time with the subject. Most worthwhile activities do require some level of time investment. You can avoid spending time by either a) outsourcing to professionals at a price, ie eating out or b) minimise the time spent by cutting corners, ie microwave meals. Try to find something basic that you can practice with, like making the sauce for your noodles from scratch, which doesn't necessarily require many ingredients and you can experiment with.

Over time, the mental effort required to do such things decreases once you've made them a habit, like showering, washing the dishes, doing your laundry, that kind of thing.

I'm mostly confused by what you were expecting, but maybe that's related to your in-the-moment frustration. What were you expecting that left you so frustrated?

If you see a general counselor or OT, you get general lifestyle advice and help. If you need treatment for the mental equivalent of a gaping chest wound, you go see a psychiatrist and/or consider inpatient care at a psychiatric hospital. There's nothing wrong with either, they just cater to different levels of needs.

On cooking: I would personally say the problem lies less with cooking guides and more with your lack of interest in spending time with the subject. Most worthwhile activities do require some level of time investment. You can avoid spending time by either a) outsourcing to professionals at a price, ie eating out or b) minimise the time spent by cutting corners, ie microwave meals. Try to find something basic that you can practice with, like making the sauce for your noodles from scratch, which doesn't necessarily require many ingredients and you can experiment with.

Over time, the mental effort required to do such things decreases once you've made them a habit, like showering, washing the dishes, doing your laundry, that kind of thing.

Tobias 1115~2Y

I wasn't sure what to expect or what I even wanted; that was a big part of what I talked about with this person. Much of my frustration comes from this lack of clarity regarding a path forward, because it's not simple. Do I learn how to better cope with the promotion side of games dev, and tackle the related trauma? Or do I revise my life entirely and go and do some 'normal' job, if I even can? There are pros and cons of both.

I approached my GP and said I needed mental health help, and he had me see this person, perhaps because I'd mentioned to him that I wasn't working a traditional job and he - being in a hard-to-achieve line of work himself - probably saw that as something that absolutely needed to be fixed right away. Or maybe they had no more suitable options available, I don't know. This is a small surgery in a little seaside town, after all, not some big city hospital.

Re cooking, yes, I don't have any interest in cooking, that's the point. Trying to find something basic has been the challenge which has always resulted in frustration. Like if --someone wanted to learn music composition and knew nothing, but all the tutorials for 'beginners' assumed I had the right software, instrument, and knew what a bIV7 chord was. I've never been able to find anything that assumes zero understanding and experience because they're always written by people with a lot of both who just take many things for granted and make assumptions.

I suppose drawing tutorials were like that, actually, but I pushed through because that's something I actually wanted to be able to do. I really can't stress enough how little I'd want to cook, though, and I don't get why people seem to not get it.

Actually, I suppose it's exactly the same as the complete aversion I have towards building my own PC... which people who do know how do that and enjoy it never seem to get either. Just like how I don't get how people are resistant to learning about personality psychology, I suppose, and I just get frustrated that they don't see it as interesting and useful as it clearly seems to be to me.

I approached my GP and said I needed mental health help, and he had me see this person, perhaps because I'd mentioned to him that I wasn't working a traditional job and he - being in a hard-to-achieve line of work himself - probably saw that as something that absolutely needed to be fixed right away. Or maybe they had no more suitable options available, I don't know. This is a small surgery in a little seaside town, after all, not some big city hospital.

Re cooking, yes, I don't have any /interest/ in cooking, that's the point. Trying to find something basic has been the challenge which has always resulted in frustration. Like if --someone wanted to learn music composition and knew nothing, but all the tutorials for 'beginners' assumed I had the right software, instrument, and knew what a bIV7 chord was. I've never been able to find anything that assumes /zero/ understanding and experience because they're always written by people with a lot of both who just take many things for granted and make assumptions.

I suppose drawing tutorials were like that, actually, but I pushed through because that's something I actually wanted to be able to do. I really can't stress enough how little I'd /want/ to cook, though, and I don't get why people seem to not get it.

Actually, I suppose it's exactly the same as the complete aversion I have towards building my own PC... which people who do know how do that and enjoy it never seem to get either. Just like how I don't get how people are resistant to learning about personality psychology, I suppose, and I just get frustrated that they don't see it as interesting and useful as it clearly seems to be to me.

Refurin24~2Y

I can relate completely on the food/cooking stuff.

I don't like food, I don't like eating. It's always annoyed me and it just feels like a waste of time that I'd rather not have to deal with. I would gladly give up being able to eat something nice ever again if it meant not having to eat at all.

So then cooking is even more frustrating, since on top of the time wasted eating instead of doing anything I'd rather be doing, it's way more time wasted on creating something that will be consumed and erased, and also not enjoyed.

I don't understand the attachment people have to food and the idea of making a nice meal, and I probably never will be able to. It similarly seems difficult for people to understand my perspective as well, which I guess makes sense.

On a number of occasions I've had people tell me that I probably have an eating disorder where I intentionally starve myself to lose weight or whatever else, which is absurd as I would definitely prefer not to have the body type of a skeleton, it's just where I've ended up.

But it's an issue I will probably have to attempt to tackle at some point down the road as well. And having not done so at this point, I can't really say much beyond that I understand where you're coming from.

I can relate completely on the food/cooking stuff.

I don't like food, I don't like eating. It's always annoyed me and it just feels like a waste of time that I'd rather not have to deal with. I would gladly give up being able to eat something nice ever again if it meant not having to eat at all.

So then cooking is even more frustrating, since on top of the time wasted eating instead of doing anything I'd rather be doing, it's way more time wasted on creating something that will be consumed and erased, and also not enjoyed.

I don't understand the attachment people have to food and the idea of making a nice meal, and I probably never will be able to. It similarly seems difficult for people to understand my perspective as well, which I guess makes sense.

On a number of occasions I've had people tell me that I probably have an eating disorder where I intentionally starve myself to lose weight or whatever else, which is absurd as I would definitely prefer not to have the body type of a skeleton, it's just where I've ended up.

But it's an issue I will probably have to attempt to tackle at some point down the road as well. And having not done so at this point, I can't really say much beyond that I understand where you're coming from.

Tobias 1115~2Y

I greatly appreciate that you can understand this!! I'm the same, of course. So thanks for sharing!

What's your diet like considering that? I'd love to know how to get the right fuel without having to bugger around with a process I have zero interest in.

Refurin24~2Y

My diet is far from healthy in the grand scheme of things, and I am definitely lacking a lot of the things that the body needs, from tests I've had done.

I mostly just eat anything I can stick in a microwave or oven for a certain amount of time, and come back to retrieve it when it's done.

Things like sandwiches, pasta, cereal, chicken and such. I also don't mind yoghurt which is very easy and reasonably healthy.

If I weren't so picky I would probably just work in some kind of frozen vegetables since that would surely be better than literally nothing, but I can only get myself to eat them alongside other food that I can't be bothered to make.

Being more healthy is still a down-the-line thing for me, and I have a long way to go on that front, so I don't have much advice.

Tobias 1115~2Y

That sounds pretty similar to my diet and general approach to food.

Something that's probably the closest I've come to cooking is putting bits of broccoli in with pasta while I boil it, but I don't do it as often as I should because of the hassle of cutting it into small enough pieces. You can get precut florets, but even those are too big! There are also frozen vegetables you can steam in a bag in the microwave for like two minutes, which I should add to more things, but... even that feels like more effort than I can be bothered with usually. Especially since I've noticed no discernable difference when I eat vegetables compared to when I don't.

I'm curious about the tests re nutrient deficiencies as I've been wanting to have something like that done but wouldn't know how. Did you ask a doctor specifically about that, or use a home test (which is what I found when googling this a while back), or was it just something found incidentally while checking on something else?

If I could see my exact numerical nutrient stats and knew exactly what to eat to get them to acceptable levels, that'd appeal to me way more than just eating stuff I know is vaguely healthy and hoping for the best.

That sounds pretty similar to my diet and general approach to food.

Something that's probably the closest I've come to cooking is putting bits of broccoli in with pasta while I boil it, but I don't do it as often as I should because of the hassle of cutting it into small enough pieces. You can get precut florets, but even those are too big! There are also frozen vegetables you can steam in a bag in the microwave for like two minutes, which I should add to more things, but... even that feels like more effort than I can be bothered with usually. Especially since I've noticed no discernable difference when I eat vegetables compared to when I don't.

I'm curious about the tests re nutrient deficiencies as I've been wanting to have something like that done but wouldn't know how. Did you ask a doctor specifically about that, or use a home test (which is what I found when googling this a while back), or was it just something found incidentally while checking on something else?

If I could see my exact numerical nutrient stats and knew exactly what to eat to get them to acceptable levels, that'd appeal to me way more than just eating stuff I know is vaguely healthy and hoping for the best.

Refurin24~2Y

I saw a dietician and had blood taken and tested, from memory. I was encouraged to do it by family who were bothered by my weight and so on. It was a few years back at this point, so I don't entirely remember the details.

I'm not sure how exactly you would test it at home, and it doesn't sound like it'd be particularly safe or effective. But I have no clue.

ElektrikMagenta20~2Y

Unfortunate about the occupational therapist. I didn't know they typically even did that kind of work (maybe they don't in the US?), I thought they were normally involved more in the physical aspects of rehabilitation. Also strange that someone who ostensibly has some background in psychology would be so averse to psychological discussion. Is there any chance of getting referred to an actual cognitive therapist?

Tobias 1115~2Y

I'd never even heard of occupational therapists before this, and would have assumed from the job title they were more suited to things like rehabilitation. I contacted my GP about mental health issues, and in the call I mentioned my lack of 'normal' employment, so maybe the doctor - who'd probably got into his job due to a lifetime of pushing towards doing hard work and as such saw it as paramount - focused on entirely that and decided it was in the most need of fixing?

My understanding was that I'd talk to her then she'd refer me to an actual counsellor or therapist, but that hasn't happened yet. I'll definitely bring it up next time.

Astreon152~2Y

As far as food is concerned, if you want to eat healthy without actually cooking, i'd recommend frozen food.
Usually it has less additives than other premade food (what you call "microwave meals"), and you can mix and match to your taste.

It would take more than 5mn of microwaving, but you can probably survive 20-30mn of waiting, if that's the only compromise you have to make ? Though you'd have to check if your microwave has a defrost function, or is a combo microwave/oven.

Also, you wrote about food, but not beverages: what do you usually drink during and in-between meals ?

Tobias 1115~2Y

I eat frozen stuff sometimes (though I can't say it's especially healthy stuff, just things like beef burgers), but 30 minutes is a loooong time when you're used to 5, and I feel like I'm in anticipation mode the whole time. If I lived alone and didn't have to worry about random guests walking in mid-way through, maybe I'd do that more often.

I used to drink just pure water, now I drink tea (with milk and no sugar). I googled it and it seems there's no discernable difference between the two with regards to hydration (tea is essentially just flavoured water anyway). I got a big 2 litre bottle a while back with the aim of drinking that every day, but that proved too inconvenient for various reasons. Now I drink 4 or 5 cups of tea a day adding up to between 1/2 and 2/3 of that 2 litre bottle.

Astreon152~2Y

As long as you don't drink sugared beverages and rehydrate often it's fine, so I'd say what you're doing is perfect ?

If all you're using is the microwave, would it be possible to have one in your room ? Or at least somewhere guests won't suddenly barge in ?

kalkra19~2Y

I don't really know what's considered "healthy" and what isn't, but I frequently get some beef and/or fish and just throw it in the oven or frying pan. Then again, I know that some people crave more variety than protein and ketchup every day.

There was also a period of time I was making french toast, but it got too time-consuming, in part because my frying pan could only do one piece of bread at a time.

I realize that this probably isn't helpful, but I got excited because you were talking about food, and I know about food.

Maniafig222~2Y

I can't really say much about the therapist stuff, only that it sounds like she's a terrible fit to be giving therapy to you.

I've found that days where I can go on a walk go by better for me than days where I can't, that little bit of physical exercise goes a long way relative to sitting indoors all day long.

I don't think I've ever had a microwave dinner, and looking at them I'm not sure if I even could, they all just look gross to me! Microwaving things in general is just ruinous for the food, making it all rubbery and gooey and unevenly warm, blegh.

I feel the same way as you in how most meals look messy to me, and like a bunch of stuff put together. But even something like just cooking a loose vegetable and a loose piece of meat, no frills, can be a sufficient meal. It doesn't need to be anything fancier than that, and that's what none of those recipe books and such will tell you.

Pretty much every recipe found online or in a recipe book is 100% completely useless for what you actually want. If they describe a basic dish as needing more than 30 minutes total to make then they're talking to hobbyists specifically and can be completely ignored. Only hobbyists in this day and age will take all that time to make dishes that complex that need that much prep, because for them the cooking itself is the fun part. Most people when they get home from work make something far more basic that nonetheless is equally nutritious, just less tasty.

Things like fruits can basically be eaten as-is, an apple you only need to cut in three parts and can be eaten like that, a kiwi you can just cut off the butt ends and eat the rest, cherries and grapes can be eaten as-is, etc.

There's plenty of vegetables that are pretty easy to eat too. A cucumber can just be cut into like 6 chunks and eaten like that. A zucchini can be sliced into little slices, put them in one of these things ( [LINK] ) with some butter and stir with a wooden spoon. You already mentioned broccoli, which just needs some cutting and being put in boiling water. Green beans you can chop off the ends of, put them in boiling water, and then bake them with some butter. None of these processes are really complex or require ingredients other than the food itself and some butter, or implements other than the type of pot/pan/kettle you put it in and a wooden spoon. You could add like pepper or salt but even that's not necessary.

Most types of meat are the same too, put them in a meat kettle with some butter and keep turning them until they're cooked, which can be determined by slicing it down the middle and comparing it with images online of "how cooked should X meat be". Nothing fancier than that is needed.

Something like bread with a cooked or hardboiled [can be storebought] egg and some [cooked] ham goes a long way too, or putting some cheese and butter on two slices of bread and putting them in a toaster.

Diets don't need to be perfect, but they should be varied and have a bit of everything. But none of that involves doing the cooking equivalent of ballet dancing or figure skating like these online recipes seem to imply!

I can't really say much about the therapist stuff, only that it sounds like she's a terrible fit to be giving therapy to you.

I've found that days where I can go on a walk go by better for me than days where I can't, that little bit of physical exercise goes a long way relative to sitting indoors all day long.

I don't think I've ever had a microwave dinner, and looking at them I'm not sure if I even could, they all just look gross to me! Microwaving things in general is just ruinous for the food, making it all rubbery and gooey and unevenly warm, blegh.

I feel the same way as you in how most meals look messy to me, and like a bunch of stuff put together. But even something like just cooking a loose vegetable and a loose piece of meat, no frills, can be a sufficient meal. It doesn't need to be anything fancier than that, and that's what none of those recipe books and such will tell you.

Pretty much every recipe found online or in a recipe book is 100% completely useless for what you actually want. If they describe a basic dish as needing more than 30 minutes total to make then they're talking to hobbyists specifically and can be completely ignored. Only hobbyists in this day and age will take all that time to make dishes that complex that need that much prep, because for them the cooking itself is the fun part. Most people when they get home from work make something far more basic that nonetheless is equally nutritious, just less tasty.

Things like fruits can basically be eaten as-is, an apple you only need to cut in three parts and can be eaten like that, a kiwi you can just cut off the butt ends and eat the rest, cherries and grapes can be eaten as-is, etc.

There's plenty of vegetables that are pretty easy to eat too. A cucumber can just be cut into like 6 chunks and eaten like that. A zucchini can be sliced into little slices, put them in one of these things ( https://bordenenzo.nl/Files/9/141000/141584/ProductPhotos/Large/549649889.jpg ) with some butter and stir with a wooden spoon. You already mentioned broccoli, which just needs some cutting and being put in boiling water. Green beans you can chop off the ends of, put them in boiling water, and then bake them with some butter. None of these processes are really complex or require ingredients other than the food itself and some butter, or implements other than the type of pot/pan/kettle you put it in and a wooden spoon. You could add like pepper or salt but even that's not necessary.

Most types of meat are the same too, put them in a meat kettle with some butter and keep turning them until they're cooked, which can be determined by slicing it down the middle and comparing it with images online of "how cooked should X meat be". Nothing fancier than that is needed.

Something like bread with a cooked or hardboiled [can be storebought] egg and some [cooked] ham goes a long way too, or putting some cheese and butter on two slices of bread and putting them in a toaster.

Diets don't need to be perfect, but they should be varied and have a bit of everything. But none of that involves doing the cooking equivalent of ballet dancing or figure skating like these online recipes seem to imply!

Jinan_Dangor1~2Y

Yo! I've been cooking a lot more this year, and while I think that I definitely have a higher baseline than you, I think I can help.

First of all, meat plus veggies is an easy meal that can taste pretty good and be pretty healthy with minimal prep. My super basic meal is a peeled carrot, a whole tomato, and some chicken I put in a pan and turned over halfway through. Then I add some sour cream and sweet chilli source to my plate so the chicken and vegetables don't taste like nothing. The prep is, in its entirety, peeling a carrot and cooking chicken in a pan. Sounds pretty close to what you want out of a basic meal, and you can set a timer and do something else while the chicken cooks, too. If you don't like carrot or tomato or chicken, there might be some other vegetable or meat that works (or another sauce or whatever), so there's a lot of options. I think he usually assumes a little too much of the layman's cooking skills and equipment, but BDG's video on being a Midnight Gourmand also teaches some good tips on how to get basic food, leftover takeaway, etc, and turn it into a slightly nicer meal.

I think it's worth saying at this point that eating good is one of those things that can really change your perspective on cooking, because good home cooked food is just leagues better than anything you get in a box. That said, it's kind of a paradox, because since it seems like you basically grew up on junk and have no motivation to improve, you don't have the motivation to make a dish you might really like.

With that in mind, I'd recommend trying to make something that takes an hour to make (Old El Paso burritos using the intructions on the box, most recipes for spaghetti bolognese, some recipe for a takeaway dish you like like Butter Chicken or something). I usually put on a podcast or something fun while I cook to help make it less boring, and an hour is pretty standard for any dish I can just get up and cook after grocery shopping on a weeknight. This will be a big undertaking for you, so treat it like that. Make it *the* big thing you do one week. If you do it right, you'll probably have food for half a week (with leftovers you can heat up like microwave meals), so it'll at least pay off in that respect. And hopefully you'll at least get a taste of home cooked food and can more conclusively say whether good food is totally wasted on you. my personal recommendation would be to try at least three dishes before giving up, but hey, that's me coming from my own place, not yours.

Hopefully getting motivated to cook food you love because you enjoy eating it will help pull you out of your rut. If not, well, find a raw vegetable you like eating and eat it regularly with your meals I guess. Nat's What I Reckon (a guy I hadn't heard of until my parents bought me his book, highly recommend the spaghetti bolognese recipe in there) does attest to how eating like shit made him feel like shit, but hey, everyone's different.

Best of luck with your culinary endeavors!

Yo! I've been cooking a lot more this year, and while I think that I definitely have a higher baseline than you, I think I can help.

First of all, meat plus veggies is an easy meal that can taste pretty good and be pretty healthy with minimal prep. My super basic meal is a peeled carrot, a whole tomato, and some chicken I put in a pan and turned over halfway through. Then I add some sour cream and sweet chilli source to my plate so the chicken and vegetables don't taste like nothing. The prep is, in its entirety, peeling a carrot and cooking chicken in a pan. Sounds pretty close to what you want out of a basic meal, and you can set a timer and do something else while the chicken cooks, too. If you don't like carrot or tomato or chicken, there might be some other vegetable or meat that works (or another sauce or whatever), so there's a lot of options. I think he usually assumes a little too much of the layman's cooking skills and equipment, but BDG's video on being a Midnight Gourmand also teaches some good tips on how to get basic food, leftover takeaway, etc, and turn it into a slightly nicer meal.

I think it's worth saying at this point that eating good is one of those things that can really change your perspective on cooking, because good home cooked food is just leagues better than anything you get in a box. That said, it's kind of a paradox, because since it seems like you basically grew up on junk and have no motivation to improve, you don't have the motivation to make a dish you might really like.

With that in mind, I'd recommend trying to make something that takes an hour to make (Old El Paso burritos using the intructions on the box, most recipes for spaghetti bolognese, some recipe for a takeaway dish you like like Butter Chicken or something). I usually put on a podcast or something fun while I cook to help make it less boring, and an hour is pretty standard for any dish I can just get up and cook after grocery shopping on a weeknight. This will be a big undertaking for you, so treat it like that. Make it *the* big thing you do one week. If you do it right, you'll probably have food for half a week (with leftovers you can heat up like microwave meals), so it'll at least pay off in that respect. And hopefully you'll at least get a taste of home cooked food and can more conclusively say whether good food is totally wasted on you. my personal recommendation would be to try at least three dishes before giving up, but hey, that's me coming from my own place, not yours.

Hopefully getting motivated to cook food you love because you enjoy eating it will help pull you out of your rut. If not, well, find a raw vegetable you like eating and eat it regularly with your meals I guess. Nat's What I Reckon (a guy I hadn't heard of until my parents bought me his book, highly recommend the spaghetti bolognese recipe in there) does attest to how eating like shit made him feel like shit, but hey, everyone's different.

Best of luck with your culinary endeavors!