Ugh, I started writing this post with satisfaction and hope a few days ago, as I've finally got to a point with Dreamons that I've been striving towards for ages, but stuff has happened since then and now I feel compelled to turn it into yet another frustrated rant about anxiety. Maybe folic acid will help with that though?? Also (and completely unrelatedly), Digimon again!!1 READ MORE
I've been feeling like an embarrassing disappointment lately, so I decided to try to actually do something about it instead of just whining every week... READ MORE
Some venting about recent sleep issues - likely a result of persistent life situation issues - and thoughts about my current game dev project, Dreamons, some old GBC Legend of Zelda games, and the Netflix adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. READ MORE
I've been unable to work for the past few days due to dogsitting, though I've been unusually social via phone calls with friends. Also: canine social networking, R-CPD as a possible explanation for my lifelong inability to burp and recent chest pain, an intriguing game called Cocoon, a film called Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Patreon porn profits. READ MORE
I had the fifth session of the Counselling Skills course yesterday. I left before it ended, and I'm unsure whether or not to continue with the other 10 sessions. READ MORE
While AI can produce high-quality art quickly, in my experience, art's value comes from the creation process, at least in the sense of personal pride. Also, I've been losing sleep over doubts about the social dice roll I'll be making next week... READ MORE
I finally feel like I have some vague idea of what kind of life might allow me to continue making stuff while paying the bills and not going (even more) insane?? READ MORE
I saw two interesting things from familiar online creators this week, which I wanted to write about: a video by Weebl (a Flash animator from not long before I released MARDEK), and some old soundtracks by ConcernedApe (creator of Stardew Valley)... READ MORE
Did some Dreamons work this week, but mostly felt indecisive and burned out. Also, potential Patreon issue, and I should probably learn to use a DAW. READ MORE
I'm not the only indie dev who struggles to find the motivation to work. Also, some minor mechanical additions to... whatever this side project thing I've been working on is even called! READ MORE
I've been wondering whether to turn my recent side project into my main project for a while, to use it as practise for facing the promotion-related things I've been avoiding... READ MORE
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls. READ MORE
I've spent this week waiting for feedback for the Atonal Dreams Alpha... or rather, that feels like an excuse to shirk work more than anything, as I find the mere thought of the next big steps - or the alternative severe life changes if this won't work out - so distressing. I should try to play a game for the first time in ages to destress and reinspire myself, but I've been struggling to decide which one! READ MORE
Gasp! I'm ready to start the next Atonal Dreams alpha test next week! Also I've maybe revised Alora Fane's logo and cosmology a bit? And a brief look at another 'solo' dev's Kickstarter, which evoked very mixed feelings in me... READ MORE
I wasn't able to focus on Atonal Dreams this week, but I did make some maybe interesting progress on this side project, Mentales! Also, I've probably got COVID now. READ MORE
I turned 34 today. I've been assuming I'd be writing a moody post reflecting on how my life's hardly where I expected it to be at this unpleasantly ancient age, but I didn't expect I'd be talking about the threat of nuclear war! What a gift all THAT news has been!! READ MORE
It's already September! How did THAT happen?? I've been working on Atonal Dreams for over a year... So much for the hope I could start and finish in 6 months like I did with Memody: Sindrel Song! READ MORE
I'M MENTALLY ILL. Did you know that?? I might not have mentioned it hundreds of times before, I forget. It's been worse than usual this week, so here's some venting about money woes, and how toxic communities have and continue to exacerbate the social anxiety that's already prevented me from seizing so many opportunities... READ MORE
I made a model of a nightmarish Beast this week, but I'm still really tired and unproductive so I'll probably take next week off to try and recover a bit. READ MORE
Another productive week! I'm almost at the point where I can update the game for a new test run; I just need to tidy up a few bugs and things now. I have some questions related to MARDEK and games dev in general that I'd like to hear your thoughts about this time! READ MORE
I want to talk a bit about money again: how much I'm earning each month, and how the amount that other indie games raise on Kickstarter does convince me to give that a go. READ MORE
The alpha test of Atonal Dreams has begun! Ten people got keys yesterday afternoon, and about half have given feedback already. If you're one of my Diamond-tier patrons and are still interested in testing, you've not missed your chance. I'll use this (day late) post to summarise some of the major points of feedback that I'll need to address before moving on, as well as a gameplay revision I've been thinking about myself for a while. READ MORE
A bunch of stuff got in the way this week, but I'm probably ready to start the alpha test phase of Atonal Dreams. Here's what I need to do next week to get to that point. READ MORE
I hoped to have Atonal Dreams ready for alpha testing this week, though depression got in the way of that. I've almost got there though; just a few more tweaks. Also another album of non-game music, from the same time I composed the OST for MARDEK. READ MORE
I've mostly been doing cleanup/tweaks this week, polishing, trying to get the game to a point where I can show the early section to some alpha testers, but everything takes a long time! While tidying up some gameplay mechanics, I made a change to how the 'arousal' stat works, which I want to talk about here. Also, another music album! READ MORE
2021's got off to a decent start, productivity-wise! I composed three pieces of music for Atonal Dreams! I've also added an additional album of my old music to the Bandcamp page I set up recently, which is something I intend to make a weekly habit of. READ MORE
I've spent the past couple of weeks looking into what the most sensible next steps might be, but it's still annoyingly unclear. Here's what I'm going to do next anyway, though. READ MORE
Here's a look at some sales stats for my games so far, as well as a couple of articles about the financial suicide of trying to make a living from indie games!! READ MORE
Have you ever heard of a game called Among Us? Probably not. It's really obscure. I mean, it only has 104,597 reviews on Steam. I feel sorry for the developers, honestly. READ MORE
I'm depressed and unmotivated. Again!! However, it's interesting seeing how much actually has changed for the better since another miserable post 3 months ago... READ MORE
I've made 3D models for the two main characters of this still-unnamed shorter Divine Dreams RPG this week: Savitr, the Seraph paragon, and Collie, his (ridiculous) caninely-quirky Cherub apprentice. Quite a contrast! READ MORE
I've been thinking about it all week, and I've got an idea for a shorter, more concise version of Divine Dreams that I could conceivably finish by the end of the year... READ MORE
Here are four character designs for Divine Dreams, and a bit about the design process! Also, some clarification (again) about how I'm aiming to release Divine Dreams. READ MORE
I've been looking into setting up a Discord server, and dusting off my old Patreon account, finally, in preparation for MARDEK's Steam release tomorrow! READ MORE
Here's another post about my continuing journey into the unfamiliar territory I need to explore if I'm to make anything of this games thing! In this one, I mainly talk about stuff from the comments on the last post. READ MORE
I've looked at a few other indie developers' Patreons to get ideas about how to structure mine. There have been disheartening things, some hopeful things; it's been a journey! READ MORE
Hello! Work on the MARDEK Re-release didn't go so well this week, but I have something to work with now. Also, it seems a lot of people are reaching out to people they might not have spoken to in a while during this quarantine, though I'm aware of how much my communication skills have degraded due to isolation. READ MORE
I'm devoting this week to setting up the old MARDEK games for Steam, though there are some frustrating hurdles. Here's me rambling about what I've got after doing several hours of research today, for catharsis as much as anything! READ MORE
You know what time it is? It's time to write another blog post about how I don't have the time to do anything other than work on the game I'm making! Also I probably maybe possibly will start up a Patreon, though I need to do some more research first (and I'm concerned about time)... READ MORE
Depression's reared its heavy, leaden head these past few days. I've got stuff done despite it, but it's still annoying! Also, the attention my posts get is reducing over time rather than increasing. How do people - including YOU, dear, beloved reader - actually hear about games and keep up about their releases? READ MORE
I feel that BoJack Horseman's a deeply powerful work of media because its themes resonate with some in my own life, though I've been unusually well this past week. Also I'm wondering about reviving my Patreon account, but there are uncertainties. READ MORE
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