Ugh, I started writing this post with satisfaction and hope a few days ago, as I've finally got to a point with Dreamons that I've been striving towards for ages, but stuff has happened since then and now I feel compelled to turn it into yet another frustrated rant about anxiety. Maybe folic acid will help with that though?? Also (and completely unrelatedly), Digimon again!!1 READ MORE
I've been unable to work for the past few days due to dogsitting, though I've been unusually social via phone calls with friends. Also: canine social networking, R-CPD as a possible explanation for my lifelong inability to burp and recent chest pain, an intriguing game called Cocoon, a film called Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Patreon porn profits. READ MORE
I had the fifth session of the Counselling Skills course yesterday. I left before it ended, and I'm unsure whether or not to continue with the other 10 sessions. READ MORE
Some venting in response to previous posts. Much of how I react internally to things these days comes from traumatic past experiences, and it's difficult to connect with people who are all like one another but different to you. READ MORE
I'm old and lonely and lumpy and sad, so here's some probably embarrassing ranting about that to relieve some of the stress my demons are causing me today. READ MORE
While AI can produce high-quality art quickly, in my experience, art's value comes from the creation process, at least in the sense of personal pride. Also, I've been losing sleep over doubts about the social dice roll I'll be making next week... READ MORE
I’ve actually done a lot of work on Dreamons this week, gasp! Though instead of going into detail about that, here's some rambling about popular creations being most obsessively consumed by the young and impressionable. Also, did you know there's a mobile JRPG made by some of the creators of Chrono Trigger? Plus a brief bit about the loneliness epidemic. READ MORE
I'm still struggling with motivation, focus, general life stuff. I'm wondering whether to take an opportunity to start training as a counsellor... READ MORE
I've been working on character revisions and story stuff for Dreamons, I talked to a couple of friends but not the counsellor, and I'm finding Tomb Raider III more frustrating than fun! READ MORE
Some noteworthy things have happened in the news recently! Not much has happened in my own life, though, due to a combination of taking time off, not being happy with where I am, and not knowing where I should go. READ MORE
YET AGAIN I'm caught up in lousy internal weather and haven't achieved as much as I'd like because of it. So frustrating. I suppose I composed a 16-minute-long piece of music, at least?? Don't know what I'm doing game-dev-wise these days, though... READ MORE
I've now composed five (and a bit) pieces of music for this tin whistle I got less than a week ago! I also find it a shame how 'music' for most people is mostly about stuff beyond the actual arrangement of notes... READ MORE
This... still unnamed side project thing is a game about converting and collecting people, but to what degree should they be unique people rather than collectible types? Should it be about collecting a silly gang of archetypes, or about finding your ~soulmate~?? READ MORE
I recently (re)played the remakes of these games that were a big part of my childhood. One trilogy I found mostly enjoyable, the other mostly frustrating! READ MORE
I've continued struggling to focus on games dev due to my recent attempts to get mental health help only exacerbating my issues. I composed some moody music about getting old though!! READ MORE
Ugh, yet another week where I've made no worthwhile progress on game dev projects, largely due to frustrations about the mental health 'help' I've been getting. READ MORE
I'm much older than I'd like. I met a friend, for the first time in almost two years! I also met someone who was supposed to help with my disconnection from society... READ MORE
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls. READ MORE
As I continue to take a break from Atonal Dreams due to an annoyingly prolonged flare-up of my mental health issues, I've been channeling my creativity into a side project which draws on other side projects from last year and games I've made or been inspired by in the past... READ MORE
A second post this week with some thoughts about art I drew a few days ago, and the kind of feedback artists hope for when showing other people the fruits of their hard work. READ MORE
Another days-late post! Depression slump continues. Some thoughts about a CBC port or remake and rambling about computer crashes and cutscene 'games' I enjoy making for myself but doubt would appeal to others. READ MORE
I've finally implemented the revisions to this website that have taken far longer than they really should have done! Am I presenting my game and myself in an appropriate way, though? Also, Pokemon Violet. READ MORE
For the second week in a row, this post's mostly just an excuse about how I've not achieved what I wanted to this week, due to general mental illness exacerbated by several situational stressors. Bleh. READ MORE
And it bothers me when I hear it in youtube videos but can't find the piece myself because the youtuber didn't care enough about it to mention what it was called! READ MORE
I've spent this week waiting for feedback for the Atonal Dreams Alpha... or rather, that feels like an excuse to shirk work more than anything, as I find the mere thought of the next big steps - or the alternative severe life changes if this won't work out - so distressing. I should try to play a game for the first time in ages to destress and reinspire myself, but I've been struggling to decide which one! READ MORE
Some venting about the Avoidant and Dependent Personality Disorders that likely hinder me, awkward phone calls with friends, embarrassment while dog walking, and how much of a mental mess I generally am. READ MORE
I hoped to use this week to first get some non-game-dev things out of the way, then to do a bit of work on Atonal Dreams... but I didn't do either! One of those non-dev things was finally deciding on a new PC, so I've at least written about that here a bit?? Any help from those of you who know and care about this stuff would be appreciated (again)! READ MORE
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