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49 POSTS WITH THE TAG <Frustration >

PERSONAL

1

769
Connected and Distracted
5 months ago1,275 words
I've been ususually social recently! But not very focused on Dreamons work I'd like to be doing.
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PERSONAL

2

544
Dreamons Progress, Anxiety Rant, Digimon Again
6 months ago4,015 words
Ugh, I started writing this post with satisfaction and hope a few days ago, as I've finally got to a point with Dreamons that I've been striving towards for ages, but stuff has happened since then and now I feel compelled to turn it into yet another frustrated rant about anxiety. Maybe folic acid will help with that though?? Also (and completely unrelatedly), Digimon again!!1
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PERSONAL

0

480
ECG, New Monitor, Old Digimon
7 months ago2,760 words
My plans were thrown off this week, though my ECG was fine, my old monitor wasn't, and I indulged in a bit of nostalgia...
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PERSONAL

1

534
I Fainted... Again, Apparently
7 months ago1,568 words
Here's a less-than-lovely update to the previously positive-ish post!
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PERSONAL

4

502
Various Distractions
8 months ago1,841 words
I've been unable to work for the past few days due to dogsitting, though I've been unusually social via phone calls with friends. Also: canine social networking, R-CPD as a possible explanation for my lifelong inability to burp and recent chest pain, an intriguing game called Cocoon, a film called Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Patreon porn profits.
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PERSONAL

6

740
36th Birthday
9 months ago903 words
I am now Level 36. As always, I don't like this!
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PERSONAL

13

1,025
Counselling Course Conclusion?
9 months ago1,837 words
I had the fifth session of the Counselling Skills course yesterday. I left before it ended, and I'm unsure whether or not to continue with the other 10 sessions.
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PERSONAL

7

578
Trauma-Induced Frustrations & Pathologising Circumstance
10 months ago1,200 words
Some venting in response to previous posts. Much of how I react internally to things these days comes from traumatic past experiences, and it's difficult to connect with people who are all like one another but different to you.
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PERSONAL

14

689
Being An Outcast Hurts
10 months ago1,961 words
Well, no miracles yesterday.
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PERSONAL

6

813
Bitter Old Man Rant
10 months ago1,798 words
I'm old and lonely and lumpy and sad, so here's some probably embarrassing ranting about that to relieve some of the stress my demons are causing me today.
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PERSONAL

7

581
Artists vs AI; Counselling Course Concerns
10 months ago1,140 words
While AI can produce high-quality art quickly, in my experience, art's value comes from the creation process, at least in the sense of personal pride. Also, I've been losing sleep over doubts about the social dice roll I'll be making next week...
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DEVELOPMENT

3

1,078
On Media Claimed By The Young; Another Eden
11 months ago2,278 words
I’ve actually done a lot of work on Dreamons this week, gasp! Though instead of going into detail about that, here's some rambling about popular creations being most obsessively consumed by the young and impressionable. Also, did you know there's a mobile JRPG made by some of the creators of Chrono Trigger? Plus a brief bit about the loneliness epidemic.
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PERSONAL

2

645
SLS, Considering a Counselling Course, Tin Whistle 3
12 months ago1,632 words
I'm still struggling with motivation, focus, general life stuff. I'm wondering whether to take an opportunity to start training as a counsellor...
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PERSONAL

8

639
Tin Whistle Take Two; Counselling Conclusion
1 year ago1,120 words
JUST WHAT YOU'VE ALL BEEN WAITING FOR!! Also, the mental health help I got didn't much help my mental health.
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DEVELOPMENT

3

759
Weekly Update - Mostly Unremarkable
1 year ago573 words
Not every week can have something worth talking about, I suppose! I started playing a Pokemon Crystal romhack, though.
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DEVELOPMENT

3

829
Dreamons Story Planning, Scattered Connections, Tomb Raider III
1 year ago1,488 words
I've been working on character revisions and story stuff for Dreamons, I talked to a couple of friends but not the counsellor, and I'm finding Tomb Raider III more frustrating than fun!
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PERSONAL

11

1,655
So What Now? (Greedy Unity, Life Milestones, Alien Mummies, Etc)
1 year ago2,380 words
Some noteworthy things have happened in the news recently! Not much has happened in my own life, though, due to a combination of taking time off, not being happy with where I am, and not knowing where I should go.
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PERSONAL

1

698
Another Damn Depression Week
1 year ago2,016 words
YET AGAIN I'm caught up in lousy internal weather and haven't achieved as much as I'd like because of it. So frustrating. I suppose I composed a 16-minute-long piece of music, at least?? Don't know what I'm doing game-dev-wise these days, though...
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PERSONAL

2

631
Music Musings & 5 Tin Whistle Pieces
1 year ago2,482 words
I've now composed five (and a bit) pieces of music for this tin whistle I got less than a week ago! I also find it a shame how 'music' for most people is mostly about stuff beyond the actual arrangement of notes...
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DEVELOPMENT

7

820
Collecting Archetypes or Bonding With Characters?
1 year ago1,426 words
This... still unnamed side project thing is a game about converting and collecting people, but to what degree should they be unique people rather than collectible types? Should it be about collecting a silly gang of archetypes, or about finding your ~soulmate~??
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PERSONAL

1

1,005
Stuck in a Vortex
2 years ago1,417 words
I've felt terrible this week, and got nothing done... which makes me feel terrible, which makes me get nothing done!
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PERSONAL

6

1,265
What am I even doing with my time?
2 years ago2,099 words
Maybe I should do this instead??
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GAMES

4

1,276
Crash & Spyro
2 years ago880 words
I recently (re)played the remakes of these games that were a big part of my childhood. One trilogy I found mostly enjoyable, the other mostly frustrating!
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PERSONAL

8

1,028
Creative Constipation & Moody Music
2 years ago - Edited 2 years ago929 words
I've continued struggling to focus on games dev due to my recent attempts to get mental health help only exacerbating my issues. I composed some moody music about getting old though!!
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PERSONAL

12

1,328
Frustrated by Mental Health 'Help'
2 years ago734 words
Ugh, yet another week where I've made no worthwhile progress on game dev projects, largely due to frustrations about the mental health 'help' I've been getting.
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PERSONAL

9

1,249
35th Birthday, Outings Part 2
2 years ago2,198 words
I'm much older than I'd like. I met a friend, for the first time in almost two years! I also met someone who was supposed to help with my disconnection from society...
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PERSONAL

11

1,197
Outings, CBC Port, Feedback Frustrations
2 years ago1,376 words
I'll be going out into the Real World to see people twice this week! Also CBC port, and UFO-related blog post reaction frustrations.
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PERSONAL

19

1,164
I Saw An Occupational Therapist - A Rant (I'm Not Interested In Cooking)
2 years ago1,887 words
I saw a person about my mental health issues yesterday, who told me to eat better and go for walks. Thanks, I'm cured. Also, I hate cooking.
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PERSONAL

4

1,081
Weekly Update - Music on YouTube, At Last!!
2 years ago1,785 words
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls.
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PERSONAL

4

694
Thrown Off, Waiting
2 years ago715 words
As I continue to take a break from Atonal Dreams due to an annoyingly prolonged flare-up of my mental health issues, I've been channeling my creativity into a side project which draws on other side projects from last year and games I've made or been inspired by in the past...
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PERSONAL

10

1,137
Weekly Update - A Follow-Up Re Atonal Dreams Box Art
2 years ago1,720 words
A second post this week with some thoughts about art I drew a few days ago, and the kind of feedback artists hope for when showing other people the fruits of their hard work.
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PERSONAL

7

1,062
Weekly Update - CBC Port, Sequel? Still Depressed
2 years ago2,392 words
Another days-late post! Depression slump continues. Some thoughts about a CBC port or remake and rambling about computer crashes and cutscene 'games' I enjoy making for myself but doubt would appeal to others.
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DEVELOPMENT

17

1,538
Belated Weekly Update - Website Changes, Presenting Oneself, Pokemon
2 years ago3,011 words
I've finally implemented the revisions to this website that have taken far longer than they really should have done! Am I presenting my game and myself in an appropriate way, though? Also, Pokemon Violet.
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PERSONAL

6

1,260
Weekly Update - Thrown Off, Not Dead Yet
2 years ago1,098 words
Another excuse post! Ugh!
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PERSONAL

1

1,055
Head Pressure, Continued; Several Stressful Factors
2 years ago1,284 words
For the second week in a row, this post's mostly just an excuse about how I've not achieved what I wanted to this week, due to general mental illness exacerbated by several situational stressors. Bleh.
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PERSONAL

5

737
I Like Stock/Royalty-Free Music
2 years ago961 words
And it bothers me when I hear it in youtube videos but can't find the piece myself because the youtuber didn't care enough about it to mention what it was called!
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DEVELOPMENT

6

1,451
Weekly Update - Another Slump, Composing Convenience Concerns
2 years ago909 words
Do you know anything about portable USB monitors??
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PERSONAL

5

1,383
Unplanned Week Off
2 years ago533 words
I didn't intend or even want to, but I ended up taking this week off!
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DEVELOPMENT

1

1,419
Distractions; Games Take A Long Time
2 years ago1,292 words
Did you know that MOTHER 3 took twelve years to make? Also I barely did anything this week and I really don't like that!!
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DEVELOPMENT

6

1,634
Weekly Update - Waiting for Alpha Feedback, Anxiously Procrastinating
2 years ago2,093 words
I've spent this week waiting for feedback for the Atonal Dreams Alpha... or rather, that feels like an excuse to shirk work more than anything, as I find the mere thought of the next big steps - or the alternative severe life changes if this won't work out - so distressing. I should try to play a game for the first time in ages to destress and reinspire myself, but I've been struggling to decide which one!
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DEVELOPMENT

5

1,423
Weekly Update - Alpha 2 Soon! & Boss Battle Strategies
2 years ago1,018 words
I'm intending to run another alpha test the week after next!! Also, how might you make a turn-based JRPG boss battle challenging?
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PERSONAL

5

1,587
Weird Wasted Week - AvPD & DPD
2 years ago2,015 words
Some venting about the Avoidant and Dependent Personality Disorders that likely hinder me, awkward phone calls with friends, embarrassment while dog walking, and how much of a mental mess I generally am.
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DEVELOPMENT

1

1,658
Weekly Update - Old Flash Game Port Snags
2 years ago834 words
Getting old Flash games to run as a Windows app is challenging! Just like it was when I ported MARDEK a while back!!
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DEVELOPMENT

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1,662
Weekly Update - Creative Constipation
3 years ago1,699 words
It's so frustrating when there's a will and an intention, but nothing is produced!
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PERSONAL

10

1,514
How often do you a) play games, and b) talk to people?
3 years ago1,822 words
A couple of questions for you! Also some rambling about why I'm asking.
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DEVELOPMENT

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1,734
Weekly Update - Mostly Just Frustratingly Exhausted
3 years ago1,403 words
I've been largely distracted, frustrated, and exhausted this week, ugh! So I only did some little bits of things on Atonal Dreams...
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PERSONAL

5

1,814
Wasted Week, Buying a New PC - Round 4
3 years ago1,785 words
I hoped to use this week to first get some non-game-dev things out of the way, then to do a bit of work on Atonal Dreams... but I didn't do either! One of those non-dev things was finally deciding on a new PC, so I've at least written about that here a bit?? Any help from those of you who know and care about this stuff would be appreciated (again)!
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PERSONAL

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1,821
A Frantic, Rambling About Rethinking My Life
3 years ago1,754 words
Should I get a job??
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PERSONAL

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1,583
Thoughts About DAWs?
3 years ago1,453 words
I wonder whether I should change which music composition software I use in the same way that I switched over from Flash to Unity!
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