19 POSTS WITH THE TAG <Spirituality>
PERSONAL
675
Fire In The Hall?!
2 years ago760 words
I had quite an alarming experience last night that got me thinking about psychic phenomena!
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PERSONAL
2,785
Gamer Psychology, and Openness
5 years ago2,522 words
We all play games for different reasons. Some psychologists have attempted to categorise different players based on their preferences, and I think it's worth talking about them - and the personality trait Openness (to Experience) - to explain some of the aversions to the projects I'm trying to make.
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PERSONAL
2,462
Cosmic Cartography
6 years ago1,429 words
I made a website a few months ago which was intended as a spiritual community, the primary aim of which would be to collaboratively sketch out the 'big picture' of the nature of life and the universe using diverse sources of objective and subjective evidence. I never got around to finishing it or making it public, but I want to show it here before my surgery in case the ~description of the universe~ that I've already written on it is of any interest to anyone.
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PERSONAL
4,209
Embracing Eternity - A Game
7 years ago3,206 words
Over the past week or so, I've been working on the prototype for a game - my first in 3D - which will eventually be about suicide (sort of)!! Here's a version of it you can already play!!!!
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PERSONAL
4,450
The Necessarily Secret Afterlife
7 years ago1,032 words
If science managed to prove, without a shadow of a doubt, that there was an afterlife of unconditional bliss awaiting us all when we died, could human civilisation continue?
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PERSONAL
3,299
Less than the Best
7 years ago1,123 words
The idea of having to 'settle' for someone I don't have a spark of chemistry with seems worse to me than death.
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PERSONAL
4,615
Near Death
7 years ago6,383 words
I've felt for a while now that I was in some kind of sunset period of my story; that my life was nearing its end. That end - which will likely be self-inflicted - feels closer than ever, but is that such a bad thing?
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PERSONAL
4,011
Bursting my Bubble?
7 years ago2,725 words
It's been a relatively eventful week, the last for probably a while... I went for another checkup about my brain tumour, and also tried facing some weird fears... which put a lot of things into perspective and made me aware of how small and distorted my psychological bubble has become lately (and how valuable relationships are, again).
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PERSONAL
3,791
Acceptance as an Antidote
8 years ago932 words
My thought processes have been quite toxic for the last couple of years. This isn't leading anywhere good. Mindful acceptance seems the ideal antidote, so I want to work more on cultivating that.
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PERSONAL
3,674
Seeing From Different Eyes
8 years ago2,337 words
I've been a mess recently... Or I suppose I've been a mess for a long while now, but these past few days have been worse. Some of the worst in my life. I feel like I've lost or will lose my best friend, because of my faults and mistakes, and as she's been the thread that's kept me hanging onto life for a while now, well...
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PERSONAL
5,450
Longing for Bonds, Peace, Death
8 years ago3,616 words
I haven't updated this in a while. I've returned to university, and I arrived with hope that things might get better for me... They haven't. I've been trying to write this post for days, but it's been difficult to turn my scattered thoughts into writing. Here's another attempt...
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PERSONAL
3,626
You Matter, I Don't
8 years ago1,605 words
I've been reading a lot recently, and many signposts seem to converge on the same path: in order to escape my sorrows, I should kill my Self.
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PERSONAL
3,273
Metamorphosis?
8 years ago2,815 words
I went to the hospital today to talk about the test results of the biopsy on my brain tumour... though my mind's been elsewhere lately. Can I change what I am? Do I even want to?
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PERSONAL
2,931
Respective Perspectives
8 years ago1,512 words
I find it interesting how many people envy those whose situation is different to their own, no matter what the respective situations might be... The prince who wants to be a pauper; that kind of thing.
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PERSONAL
3,270
Egos
8 years ago1,606 words
I'm due to have my sutures removed later today, so I'll be able to see the scar on my forehead for the first time. How much hair they shaved off. I'll also be able to wash my hair for the first time in ten days... which I'm looking forward to, since it feels so awful right now. Ten days... Hard to believe it's been that long, really. I think I'm getting better, slowly. But as the visceral novelty of brain surgery and hospitals loses its edge and fades into memory (though not as much as I might like; the daily physical reminders are a bugger), the same old negative thoughts begin to seep back in. As such, I'd like to do something I planned to do before all this. I'd like to use this blog to have a dialogue between my conscious self (in the sense that it's the self of which I am conscious; the Freudian ego), and my conscious self (in the sense that it's spiritually 'awakened', as opposed to the 'unconscious' fog of earthly delusions). Could be interesting.
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PERSONAL
3,310
Brain Tumour, Pokemon, & Disconnection
8 years ago2,195 words
I'll be spending next week in hospital, having brain surgery for what may very well be a malignant tumour. I'm genuinely not scared at all. I just feel numb, still because my life's so deeply dissatisfying that I feel I have so little to lose.
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PERSONAL
3,289
Entreating Eternity
8 years ago2,381 words
Those who have faith make requests of their god(s) or the conscious universe in order to get what they want from the world... While I've always thought the idea rather ludicrous, I've recently been wondering whether they're onto something.
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PERSONAL
3,878
A Glimpse of Oblivion
9 years ago1,957 words
I seriously thought about suicide yesterday. It wasn't just a desire to not be alive; I get
that all the time. This was something more potent... My mind shifted into a novel state of dark calm where the idea of ending it all seemed realistic and reasonable; my vision literally seemed to fade half black and all hope disappeared from my heart. I'm feeling better now, but it led to a lot of reflection about the state of my mind and life, and the factors that push people towards this most extreme of solutions to personal problems.
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PERSONAL
4,409
Taming the Mind
9 years ago1,251 words
"Wherever you go, you are there". Regardless of what you do or don't have in the world, you always have your thoughts, and those thoughts can mean the difference between heavenly contentment and hellish dissatisfaction. Happiness isn't about what you have; it's about how you think. The mind is like a beast within, and if you don't make efforts to control it - to tame it - then it will control you. Or so I've heard. But I wonder...
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