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19 POSTS WITH THE TAG <Suicide>

PERSONAL

8

1,827
Week Off - Video Call, Insecurities, Moving Out?
3 years ago2,512 words
I didn't do any work this week, as I said in last week's post would be the plan, so here's a personal post about all the exciting things I got up to instead!! I was meant to meet a friend, but didn't! I was meant to do a video call with a different friend, and did! I want to find somewhere to move out to, but have no idea where to even start looking!
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PERSONAL

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2,100
Various Brain Issues!
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago2,148 words
A bit of a frantic, anxious vent about recent brain issues I've been struggling with and distracted by, both physical and mental!
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PERSONAL

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2,957
Soul Hole
4 years ago1,814 words
Some scattered thoughts about the soul holes that loveless childhoods can leave us with. Cheery stuff, as usual!
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PERSONAL

25

2,776
32; Growth
5 years ago - Edited 5 years ago2,089 words
It's my birthday today, so I felt like I should at least acknowledge that with a post. Today's mostly just business as usual - spending my time alone working on this game - but there's a background of miserableness because of some discouraging comments on the previous post, because they're right. I've been thinking about how I need to change as a person, but looking back on how I was just a couple of years ago, I'd say I've already come a long way!
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PERSONAL

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4,666
Longing for Belonging... As Always
7 years ago1,541 words
I still don't know what I want to do with my future (if I even have one)...
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PERSONAL

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4,212
Embracing Eternity - A Game
7 years ago3,206 words
Over the past week or so, I've been working on the prototype for a game - my first in 3D - which will eventually be about suicide (sort of)!! Here's a version of it you can already play!!!!
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PERSONAL

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4,417
Birthday Cheer!! :D
7 years ago1,248 words
It's my birthday today. I was going to give myself the gift of sweet release from this miserable existence... but I'll probably just rant about that here instead. Yay!!
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PERSONAL

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2,881
The Crime of Desiring to Die?
7 years ago973 words
I just want to say that I'm not dead yet, because I got (but didn't answer) a call from the police last night. I didn't know it was from the police until after I'd failed to answer it, and it might have nothing to do with anything here, but still, I thought I should say something to be sure.
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PERSONAL

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3,448
New Year's Resolutions 2018
7 years ago692 words
Did I do any of the things I hoped to do in 2017? What do I intend to make of 2018?
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PERSONAL

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2,932
VR - More Impressions
7 years ago2,297 words
After playing around some more with my Oculus Rift, I'm amazed at the potential VR has to explore the nature of our perceptions... but I also wish I could just give up on the real world and live in a variety of virtual ones instead.
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PERSONAL

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2,414
To Be Or Not To Be
7 years ago1,523 words
I saw a performance (sort of) of Hamlet today with my housemates. It moved me a surprising amount, especially that most famous of soliloquies which seemed to put into wonderful words the thoughts I've been having recently.
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PERSONAL

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4,278
It's All About Sex
7 years ago2,724 words
We exist to have sex, biologically. Everything else is peripheral. And it's really hard to want to keep going if you feel that physical connection isn't going to be a part of your life experience. For me, anyway.
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PERSONAL

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3,553
Downs and Ups
7 years ago1,968 words
It was my first day of classes for the third year of university today. It's been a bit of a roller coaster. Crushing, suicidal despair, followed by a twinkling of hope.
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PERSONAL

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2,725
Inappropriate and Incompetent
7 years ago711 words
I feel like I can't do anything right. That even when I try to, I make things even worse.
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PERSONAL

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4,191
On Calling to Help
7 years ago291 words
The police just showed up at my house to talk to me about being suicidal. So if you're planning to ring them about that, please don't, since they've already been.
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PERSONAL

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4,618
Near Death
7 years ago6,383 words
I've felt for a while now that I was in some kind of sunset period of my story; that my life was nearing its end. That end - which will likely be self-inflicted - feels closer than ever, but is that such a bad thing?
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PERSONAL

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4,913
Without Security
7 years ago2,676 words
I'm currently in South Korea! I almost committed suicide the other day!!
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PERSONAL

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4,013
Bursting my Bubble?
7 years ago2,725 words
It's been a relatively eventful week, the last for probably a while... I went for another checkup about my brain tumour, and also tried facing some weird fears... which put a lot of things into perspective and made me aware of how small and distorted my psychological bubble has become lately (and how valuable relationships are, again).
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PERSONAL

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4,005
Why People Kill Themselves
8 years ago1,458 words
I've been thinking a lot about suicide recently, again. To better understand why my mind would be lingering in this area so much, I've been reading a book explaining the factors that contribute to people wanting to no longer be alive...
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