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45 POSTS WITH THE TAG <Social >

PERSONAL

1

769
Connected and Distracted
5 months ago1,275 words
I've been ususually social recently! But not very focused on Dreamons work I'd like to be doing.
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PERSONAL

6

527
Should I Become A Meditation Teacher??
7 months ago3,518 words
I went to a Mindfulness class thing, and afterwards was reminded of how even minor positive real-world experiences can turn my inner world from night to day. I got wondering what I could pursue to get this more often...
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PERSONAL

4

502
Various Distractions
8 months ago1,841 words
I've been unable to work for the past few days due to dogsitting, though I've been unusually social via phone calls with friends. Also: canine social networking, R-CPD as a possible explanation for my lifelong inability to burp and recent chest pain, an intriguing game called Cocoon, a film called Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Patreon porn profits.
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PERSONAL

13

1,025
Counselling Course Conclusion?
9 months ago1,837 words
I had the fifth session of the Counselling Skills course yesterday. I left before it ended, and I'm unsure whether or not to continue with the other 10 sessions.
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PERSONAL

9

679
Counselling Class 3 & What's Wrong With Me
10 months ago1,967 words
The third class of this Counselling skills course didn't go as badly as I dreaded it might, mostly due to revising my expectations. Also, a brief account of exactly why I've been trapped in a pit, and which mental conditions I believe I do or don't have.
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PERSONAL

14

688
Being An Outcast Hurts
10 months ago1,961 words
Well, no miracles yesterday.
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PERSONAL

4

510
Alienation as the Crux of My Social Anxiety
10 months ago1,954 words
Some venting of anxiety I feel about the second counselling class later today. I feel like I'm the alien in the group. I don't mind being an alien, I just wish I could meet another alien to hide away from it all together with.
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PERSONAL

7

581
Artists vs AI; Counselling Course Concerns
10 months ago1,140 words
While AI can produce high-quality art quickly, in my experience, art's value comes from the creation process, at least in the sense of personal pride. Also, I've been losing sleep over doubts about the social dice roll I'll be making next week...
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PERSONAL

12

704
Looking Back at 2023
11 months ago1,790 words
2023's dead! Did I use it well? Ehh. I made a bunch of stuff, but I didn't complete any big projects like I would have wanted to. Mostly I felt lost, and frustrated by how my efforts seeking help to slow my descent into complete madness failed to really bear fruit at all.
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PERSONAL

5

839
A Plan For The Future?
1 year ago841 words
I finally feel like I have some vague idea of what kind of life might allow me to continue making stuff while paying the bills and not going (even more) insane??
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DEVELOPMENT

6

906
Back To Work - Dreamons Revisions
1 year ago2,097 words
I got back to this side project last week! Now I'm planning to focus it around an 'evil' council not unlike MARDEK's Governance de Magi. Also, Unity bug and counselling-related awkwardness.
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PERSONAL

3

592
Counselling: Take... 3? 4? 5?
1 year ago2,534 words
I had my 'first' (of this latest run, at least) counselling session, at long last!! (I can't remember how many times I've been through this process in the past!)
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PERSONAL

8

750
Music Therapy
1 year ago2,107 words
I'll finally be seeing someone again about my crippling mental issues! I got a tin whistle! I replayed Memody: Sindrel Song for the first time in years and found it very moving!
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DEVELOPMENT

10

1,042
Hub and Spokes? Linear Progression?? Dreamons???
1 year ago1,439 words
What should I do with this game??
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PERSONAL

1

1,065
CrAItivity - Fluffy Lamppost
2 years ago1,343 words
ChatGPT is a better poet than I could dream of being!! Also, Steamed Hams.
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PERSONAL

12

1,328
Frustrated by Mental Health 'Help'
2 years ago734 words
Ugh, yet another week where I've made no worthwhile progress on game dev projects, largely due to frustrations about the mental health 'help' I've been getting.
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PERSONAL

9

1,249
35th Birthday, Outings Part 2
2 years ago2,198 words
I'm much older than I'd like. I met a friend, for the first time in almost two years! I also met someone who was supposed to help with my disconnection from society...
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PERSONAL

11

1,197
Outings, CBC Port, Feedback Frustrations
2 years ago1,376 words
I'll be going out into the Real World to see people twice this week! Also CBC port, and UFO-related blog post reaction frustrations.
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PERSONAL

4

1,081
Weekly Update - Music on YouTube, At Last!!
2 years ago1,785 words
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls.
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PERSONAL

5

1,240
Goals for 2023
2 years ago1,478 words
New Year's Resolutions! A chance for a life revision, as I see it. How well did I achieve last year's? And what do I hope for from this year?
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PERSONAL

5

1,415
Reddit post re toxic game 'fans'
2 years ago407 words
∞ Here's a thread I saw on Reddit ∞ where a game dev talks about getting literal death threats from his 'passionate' audience for a yet-to-be-released game.
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PERSONAL

22

1,814
Makers and Madness
2 years ago1,231 words
Creators having breakdowns and turning on - or seeking to hide away from - their 'fans' seems to be a not-uncommon thing!
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PERSONAL

5

1,587
Weird Wasted Week - AvPD & DPD
2 years ago2,015 words
Some venting about the Avoidant and Dependent Personality Disorders that likely hinder me, awkward phone calls with friends, embarrassment while dog walking, and how much of a mental mess I generally am.
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PERSONAL

10

1,514
How often do you a) play games, and b) talk to people?
3 years ago1,822 words
A couple of questions for you! Also some rambling about why I'm asking.
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PERSONAL

14

1,821
A Frantic, Rambling About Rethinking My Life
3 years ago1,754 words
Should I get a job??
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PERSONAL

12

1,669
Illness, Reddit, Friendship, Lego
3 years ago1,543 words
I haven't written a personal post in a while, so here's some rambling about a cold I have, my fruitful efforts to break through my reluctance to use Reddit, friendship and relative loneliness, and buying Lego to rekindle childhood joy!
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DEVELOPMENT

10

1,546
Back to Work, But I Probably Need A New PC!
3 years ago1,241 words
I got back to work on Atonal Dreams this week, which has been... mixed. A slow, frustrating start, and then various obstacles got in the way, so I wasn't able to get as much done as I wanted (a recurring story, that). One big recurring obstacle was my computer being even laggier than usual, so I've been thinking yet again about replacing it! I'm clueless about hardware though...
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PERSONAL

9

1,862
Stressful Break's Over
3 years ago1,258 words
So much for a productive and relaxing break!
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PERSONAL

9

2,185
Mental Piranhas
3 years ago2,411 words
I'M MENTALLY ILL. Did you know that?? I might not have mentioned it hundreds of times before, I forget. It's been worse than usual this week, so here's some venting about money woes, and how toxic communities have and continue to exacerbate the social anxiety that's already prevented me from seizing so many opportunities...
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PERSONAL

8

1,775
Video Call Take 2, Piano Miniatures
3 years ago2,162 words
A bit of a diary entry: I had another video call with a friend which was way less awkward than the last, which gave me some social confidence though I'm still paranoid of being noticed and judged, and I composed six short piano pieces this week - and have an album of 18 more from between 2012 and 2019 - but it's a shame that's not really a marketable thing that people would care about!
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PERSONAL

8

1,830
Week Off - Video Call, Insecurities, Moving Out?
3 years ago2,512 words
I didn't do any work this week, as I said in last week's post would be the plan, so here's a personal post about all the exciting things I got up to instead!! I was meant to meet a friend, but didn't! I was meant to do a video call with a different friend, and did! I want to find somewhere to move out to, but have no idea where to even start looking!
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PERSONAL

3

1,731
I met up with a friend today
3 years ago1,191 words
The first human contact I've had in many months!
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PROMOTION

8

2,135
Is The Indie Game Dev Dream Real?
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago1,438 words
I saw this video the other day, in which a just-starting indie dev interviews another who claims to be earning six figures a year from what started as solo games dev, and felt it was worth a post of its own!
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PERSONAL

6

2,102
Various Brain Issues!
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago2,148 words
A bit of a frantic, anxious vent about recent brain issues I've been struggling with and distracted by, both physical and mental!
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PERSONAL

11

2,162
Creative Envy
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago2,668 words
Did you know that Toby Fox composed a music track for Pokemon Sword & Shield? Because I didn't, and when I found out, I felt so weirdly envious about it! But why??
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PERSONAL

24

2,960
Soul Hole
4 years ago1,814 words
Some scattered thoughts about the soul holes that loveless childhoods can leave us with. Cheery stuff, as usual!
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PERSONAL

13

2,374
I should follow some indie devs on Twitter
4 years ago583 words
I don't follow anyone on Twitter, but I should start following some other indie devs so I feel less alone in walking this path! Any suggestions?
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PERSONAL

25

2,730
Alora Fane Discord - What Would You Want?
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago1,557 words
I'd like to build the Discord I set up a while back into an actual community, but if you're interested in joining that, what would you want from it?
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PERSONAL

27

3,094
Discord, Patreon, MARDEK
4 years ago918 words
I've been looking into setting up a Discord server, and dusting off my old Patreon account, finally, in preparation for MARDEK's Steam release tomorrow!
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PERSONAL

21

2,783
Can I keep doing this?
4 years ago - Edited 4 years ago1,598 words
I struggled to sleep last night because I was fretting so much about whether I can continue doing this games thing.
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PERSONAL

7

2,590
MARDEK Re-release, Messages
5 years ago815 words
Hello! Work on the MARDEK Re-release didn't go so well this week, but I have something to work with now. Also, it seems a lot of people are reaching out to people they might not have spoken to in a while during this quarantine, though I'm aware of how much my communication skills have degraded due to isolation.
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PERSONAL

5

2,797
MARDEK Steam Re-release - More Hurdles
5 years ago - Edited 5 years ago911 words
Porting MARDEK to Steam has been frustrating and so far fruitless; here's a bit of venting about it, to let you know how it's going and to relieve my own stress!
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PERSONAL

13

2,246
WU 2020-8P - So little time!!
5 years ago - Edited 5 years ago813 words
You know what time it is? It's time to write another blog post about how I don't have the time to do anything other than work on the game I'm making! Also I probably maybe possibly will start up a Patreon, though I need to do some more research first (and I'm concerned about time)...
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PERSONAL

5

2,342
WU 2020-7P - Depression, The Grapevine
5 years ago662 words
Depression's reared its heavy, leaden head these past few days. I've got stuff done despite it, but it's still annoying! Also, the attention my posts get is reducing over time rather than increasing. How do people - including YOU, dear, beloved reader - actually hear about games and keep up about their releases?
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PERSONAL

10

2,482
Weekly Update 2020-2 (Personal)
5 years ago - Edited 5 years ago1,756 words
I haven't played any new games this past week because I can't decide what to play! I did watch a Netflix series though.
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