I've been feeling like an embarrassing disappointment lately, so I decided to try to actually do something about it instead of just whining every week... READ MORE
Some venting about recent sleep issues - likely a result of persistent life situation issues - and thoughts about my current game dev project, Dreamons, some old GBC Legend of Zelda games, and the Netflix adaptation of Avatar: The Last Airbender. READ MORE
I've been unable to work for the past few days due to dogsitting, though I've been unusually social via phone calls with friends. Also: canine social networking, R-CPD as a possible explanation for my lifelong inability to burp and recent chest pain, an intriguing game called Cocoon, a film called Marcel the Shell with Shoes On, and Patreon porn profits. READ MORE
Some rather brief (ha) thoughts about Super Mario Bros. Wonder, the Super Mario RPG Remake, Final Fantasy VIII, and a new video-generating AI called Sora. Those things are all related, right?? READ MORE
While AI can produce high-quality art quickly, in my experience, art's value comes from the creation process, at least in the sense of personal pride. Also, I've been losing sleep over doubts about the social dice roll I'll be making next week... READ MORE
2023's dead! Did I use it well? Ehh. I made a bunch of stuff, but I didn't complete any big projects like I would have wanted to. Mostly I felt lost, and frustrated by how my efforts seeking help to slow my descent into complete madness failed to really bear fruit at all. READ MORE
As 2023 elderly-ly limps towards its iminent demise, I'm calmly tired and rather unfocused. Though I suppose that's been the theme of my year, hasn't it? Unfocused. This post is also that! READ MORE
I’ve actually done a lot of work on Dreamons this week, gasp! Though instead of going into detail about that, here's some rambling about popular creations being most obsessively consumed by the young and impressionable. Also, did you know there's a mobile JRPG made by some of the creators of Chrono Trigger? Plus a brief bit about the loneliness epidemic. READ MORE
I'm still struggling with motivation, focus, general life stuff. I'm wondering whether to take an opportunity to start training as a counsellor... READ MORE
I've been working on stuff I don't want to show yet, plus here's some rambling about Tomb Raider, video game graphics plateauing, and an issue with my gamepad's right trigger. EXCITING STUFF. READ MORE
I finally feel like I have some vague idea of what kind of life might allow me to continue making stuff while paying the bills and not going (even more) insane?? READ MORE
Here's some rambling about the technicalities of how I create game animations that you probably don't understand or care about!! Also, I have a protagonist and story mostly sorted out now. READ MORE
I've been working on character revisions and story stuff for Dreamons, I talked to a couple of friends but not the counsellor, and I'm finding Tomb Raider III more frustrating than fun! READ MORE
I did a lot of stuff on this Dreamons project this week! Now you can collect summonable allies and alter your own appearance whenever you want from the menu. READ MORE
I got back to this side project last week! Now I'm planning to focus it around an 'evil' council not unlike MARDEK's Governance de Magi. Also, Unity bug and counselling-related awkwardness. READ MORE
YET AGAIN I'm caught up in lousy internal weather and haven't achieved as much as I'd like because of it. So frustrating. I suppose I composed a 16-minute-long piece of music, at least?? Don't know what I'm doing game-dev-wise these days, though... READ MORE
I'll finally be seeing someone again about my crippling mental issues! I got a tin whistle! I replayed Memody: Sindrel Song for the first time in years and found it very moving! READ MORE
Did some Dreamons work this week, but mostly felt indecisive and burned out. Also, potential Patreon issue, and I should probably learn to use a DAW. READ MORE
I spent this week making progress with technical aspects of Dreamons, including replacing levels with a mechanic that plays the role of MP or cooldowns in a way I feel plays well with mechanics I already have. READ MORE
Some thoughts regarding designing this project, Dreamons, around six areas that follow the same formula, with some ideas for each one that still need a lot more refining! READ MORE
Some thoughts about how battles should probably begin with silly narrative scenes, and how maybe area rooms could look like isolated dioramas... READ MORE
I'm on a roll with this still-yet-unnamed project thing - or at least as much as I have been with anything lately - so again I've shirked other work to at least make some progress on it. Less than ideal, but better than wasting all my hours lost numbly scrolling through Reddit and half-watching YouTube videos I'll forget as soon as they're done. READ MORE
I've spent another week working on this side project thing (which I still haven't decided on a title for), which has got me thinking a lot about what aspects of turn-based battles are actually fun and which are just going through the motions! READ MORE
I'm not the only indie dev who struggles to find the motivation to work. Also, some minor mechanical additions to... whatever this side project thing I've been working on is even called! READ MORE
I did some stuff on this Belief Battles/Frayth thing this week: buildings and the interior areas they link to, and some concept designs for types of people you'd encounter. READ MORE
I've spent this week working on this side project I still haven't decided on a title for! The player can create their own character now. Also, what counts as inappropriate nudity?? READ MORE
My hope for this week was to get this latest project to the point where I could show a video demo of the main mechanics, like the old Belief one... and that's exactly what I have to show here! Gasp! READ MORE
While waiting on mental health treatment to prepare myself for putting myself out into online communities to promote Atonal Dreams, I've been wondering whether to work on Dreamons as a single-player Pokemon clone you can start a game of and just play within minutes without investing into some grand story... READ MORE
I've continued struggling to focus on games dev due to my recent attempts to get mental health help only exacerbating my issues. I composed some moody music about getting old though!! READ MORE
Ugh, yet another week where I've made no worthwhile progress on game dev projects, largely due to frustrations about the mental health 'help' I've been getting. READ MORE
I've spent this week doing work on this side project which I'm tentatively calling Dreamons. I also revisited its predecessor, Alora Fane: Creation, for inspiration; it's such a tragedy I never widely released that! Maybe I finally should?? READ MORE
I've been wondering whether to turn my recent side project into my main project for a while, to use it as practise for facing the promotion-related things I've been avoiding... READ MORE
I spent this week trying to tackle some things I'd been avoiding, including posting my music on YouTube, which I've finally started doing after talking about that for years!! I also spent a lot of time both on and waiting for phone calls. READ MORE
How's your first week of 2023 been?? My mental state's improved a bit, but I've only touched Atonal Dreams briefly. I should post on Reddit about it soon; I altered ∞ its Steam page ∞ a bit for that. Also, some thoughts about a side project I've been working on, the game Child of Light, and are you worried about AI too? READ MORE
So how's your whole Christmas/end-of-year period been? I spent at least a week - starting from Christmas Day - alone, in bed, so depressed I could barely even move. So that was fun!! Have I ever mentioned that I'm mentally ill before? What, in most of the blog posts I've written this year, you say?? I've at least made stuff every month despite it, though slower than I'd like. READ MORE
A second post this week with some thoughts about art I drew a few days ago, and the kind of feedback artists hope for when showing other people the fruits of their hard work. READ MORE
This week, I've seen the light at the end of the long tunnel I've been frustratingly stuck in for the past several weeks, and have been preparing to face the promotion stuff I've been avoiding. READ MORE
Another days-late post! Depression slump continues. Some thoughts about a CBC port or remake and rambling about computer crashes and cutscene 'games' I enjoy making for myself but doubt would appeal to others. READ MORE
My mind's been all over the place this week! Old games! Pokemon! Me-made new Pokemon clone?? CBC platformer sequel?? Random computer issues??? Nothing on Atonal Dreams though. READ MORE
I've finally implemented the revisions to this website that have taken far longer than they really should have done! Am I presenting my game and myself in an appropriate way, though? Also, Pokemon Violet. READ MORE
For the second week in a row, this post's mostly just an excuse about how I've not achieved what I wanted to this week, due to general mental illness exacerbated by several situational stressors. Bleh. READ MORE
This week, I made some Atonal Dreams improvements (mostly) based on feedback from the previous test, and intended to post about it on Reddit, but... am I too burned out? Should I focus on stuff like porting my old games first?? Am I just making up excuses to avoid doing something I have a strong trauma-related aversion towards??? READ MORE
I did very little this week - other than compile a list of tasks based on feedback from testers of the third alpha run of Atonal Dreams - because I had another MRI scan to check if my brain cancer has returned! READ MORE
I announced the start of the third alpha test of Atonal Dreams on Monday... but so far only one person has provided feedback. It's discouraging, but I blame myself! READ MORE
Another busy week! Alpha Test 3 will start next week, if you're interested in volunteering to help with that! I also worked a little bit on the Belief side-project thing I started recently. READ MORE
I recently finished the Live A Live Remake... but barely understood its mechanics, as has been the case with pretty much all RPGs I've played in the past. Annoying! Tutorials are the norm for modern games, and here's an overwhelming barrage of images showing all of the tutorials Atonal Dreams includes to hopefully explain its mechanics in a more satisfying way. But are they too much?? Not clear enough?!? I'd value your input! READ MORE
I spent this week revising Atonal Dreams to use the new elements, and I had the most productivity with and confidence about the project I've had in a long time! READ MORE
Last week, I wrote about an idea I'd had for combining the elements and runes in Atonal Dreams, and how I'd been experimenting with a side project - essentially a remake of my old 'Belief' project from late 2019 - to get a feel for whether or not the change would work. I've spent this week working away at that project, so I want to talk about it a bit! READ MORE
Inspiration is a double-edged sword! Should a seemingly good, new idea be pursued if it'd require some steps back to do so? Or should the current path be doggedly stuck to because that's the only way to reach the end?? READ MORE
Typically, RPG spells create flashy particle effects when used, and I've been putting off adding proper ones to the skills in Atonal Dreams. So I finally got around to that this week! READ MORE
WELL THIS WEEK I COULDN'T DO WORK BECAUSE MY DOG ATE ATONAL DREAMS AND-... Or no, gasp, I actually did get stuff done this week! I've been revising dialogue scenes based on tester feedback... though everything continues to take so damn long! READ MORE
Ehh, I've had a weird week. Still a lot of tension and paralysis due to indecisiveness or a general feeling of crisis about the life path I've found myself on, but I feel it's at least started calming maybe after getting - and beginning to act on - some feedback about Atonal Dreams? READ MORE
I've spent this week waiting for feedback for the Atonal Dreams Alpha... or rather, that feels like an excuse to shirk work more than anything, as I find the mere thought of the next big steps - or the alternative severe life changes if this won't work out - so distressing. I should try to play a game for the first time in ages to destress and reinspire myself, but I've been struggling to decide which one! READ MORE
Gasp! I'm ready to start the next Atonal Dreams alpha test next week! Also I've maybe revised Alora Fane's logo and cosmology a bit? And a brief look at another 'solo' dev's Kickstarter, which evoked very mixed feelings in me... READ MORE
I've been working on Mentales this week! I'll likely also spend the next week on that, and I've been wondering again whether to make official ports of my old Flash games... READ MORE
I'm at the point with Atonal Dreams now where I can almost start the next round of alpha testing. I know I've been saying that for probably months, but while then it was on the horizon, now I'm standing on the doorstep. I've got badly burned out getting here, though, so I've also been recovering a bit by working on a side project, Mentales! READ MORE
I set up my new PC at long last, I'm still working on story decisions - including some fast/dream travel 'flowerbeds' - and it's a shame people aren't more receptive to - or even aware of - my post-MARDEK work! READ MORE
Work on the gameplay mechanics/game loop is essentially done now, so I just need to refine the story a bit before doing the next alpha test! Does this new symbol for the Passion element look inappropriately lewd to you?? READ MORE
I'm still going! Potion levels! Uncertainty about how to transition between the nightmare intro and Sprouting Isle, and how the world map should work! Chrono Cross remaster! READ MORE
I spent this week working my way through a to-do list of tedious tasks for Atonal Dreams! Here are a couple of the more interesting additions. READ MORE
I wasn't able to focus on Atonal Dreams this week, but I did make some maybe interesting progress on this side project, Mentales! Also, I've probably got COVID now. READ MORE
I've been writing some dialogue scenes this week! Also my new PC arrived! And a bit of a follow-up about the Ukraine war and the post I wrote about that recently. READ MORE
There are a whole lot of aspects of game dev that I get excited about and enjoy! But there are so many facets to it that I suppose it wouldn't be possible to be in love with every single thing I have to do. I tend to put off the undesirable tasks as much as possible, but I'm at the point now where they're pretty much all that's left at the bottom of the task barrel before I can run the next alpha... so I'm having to endure the gruelling process of working through them. READ MORE
I turned 34 today. I've been assuming I'd be writing a moody post reflecting on how my life's hardly where I expected it to be at this unpleasantly ancient age, but I didn't expect I'd be talking about the threat of nuclear war! What a gift all THAT news has been!! READ MORE
This week, I made some significant revisions to Alora Fane's six elements, plus refinements to the affinities system I talked about last week, and some other miscellaneous things. READ MORE
I hoped to use this week to first get some non-game-dev things out of the way, then to do a bit of work on Atonal Dreams... but I didn't do either! One of those non-dev things was finally deciding on a new PC, so I've at least written about that here a bit?? Any help from those of you who know and care about this stuff would be appreciated (again)! READ MORE
I composed two new pieces of battle music this week... which I can't show off due to technical issues with my composing program. I'm also wondering about other ways of talking about my progress that might be more noticed... READ MORE
Some more work on the music system this week! Also some plans for stuff I want to write before the end of the year, looking back on progress and decisions and such. READ MORE
A (relatively) quick one this week! I've been working more on the music system, which involved making decisions about the 'intensity' system that alters the background music and adds multipliers to damage delivered. READ MORE
This week, I worked on combining three separate music systems in Atonal Dreams' code, but didn't do as much as I'd like due to a distracting dog! READ MORE
I'm still working away at stitching together the intro sections of Atonal Dreams, and also this week I started on a side project based on Alora Fane: Creation! READ MORE
I've made some decent progress this week towards FINALLY moving beyond the nightmare intro and combining that with the tutorial island I already mostly made months ago. I've changed a lot with the game's fundamental mechanics since I last worked with it though, so I'm having to clean up a whole lot of stuff to get it all working. Let's look at some screenshots! READ MORE
A long one this week! For Atonal Dreams, I made Savitr's flying figmon steed, and the beginnings of a world map you'd use for fast travel. I also want to talk about an idea I have for a potential smaller side project: a simple roguelike virtual pet thing... READ MORE
I've almost finished the intro bit in Collie's Psychepelago!! Took long enough... I need to figure out exactly how it ends and ties to the beginning bits I had from before, though... READ MORE
I got back to work on Atonal Dreams this week, which has been... mixed. A slow, frustrating start, and then various obstacles got in the way, so I wasn't able to get as much done as I wanted (a recurring story, that). One big recurring obstacle was my computer being even laggier than usual, so I've been thinking yet again about replacing it! I'm clueless about hardware though... READ MORE
It's already September! How did THAT happen?? I've been working on Atonal Dreams for over a year... So much for the hope I could start and finish in 6 months like I did with Memody: Sindrel Song! READ MORE
I did a lot this week! I made two new monsters, came up with an idea - mementomes - that solves some uncertainties, and improved the Lore section! READ MORE
I mostly finished the intro I was working on, but it's not what I want it to be! I've come up with some revisions though which should make for a better world and story... READ MORE
I've almost finished the intro, but not quite! One thing I've yet to do is finalise a design for 'Splendid Savitr'. Also, I started playing Kingdom Hearts this week, which features more frustratingly aimless backtracking than I remember! READ MORE
I spent this week working on the dark dream intro, though it's not finished yet! I also spent about a day fiddling around with a side project based on Belief - a game I worked on briefly a while back - for the fun of it. READ MORE
I refreshed my memory about the story, wrote out some themes I'm intending for the narrative to explore, and wrote a potential script for the intro that I'm still not sure about! I also experimented with a suggested way of integrating music into battles, though I'm not sure about that either since it doesn't work with the existing battle track (included here)! READ MORE
I made a model of a nightmarish Beast this week, but I'm still really tired and unproductive so I'll probably take next week off to try and recover a bit. READ MORE
I didn't do as much as I'd like this week due to a bunch of factors, so I worked on trying to address those. I also (mostly) made the dream versions of Collie and Savitr, I've included a video showing a basic battle to hopefully clarify some stuff I've previously only written about, and I'm curious to hear your thoughts about a question: What, to you, is a 'standard RPG'? READ MORE
A long one this week! I've been thinking I should trim out some vestigial features to focus more on the monster-skills mechanic, plus some replies to things people said in comments on last week's post (since I can't reply to them all individually!). READ MORE
I updated the website this week; I'll need to put Atonal Dreams on Steam next week, though I also have my next brain scan on Wednesday. This week's album contains some tracks I don't think I've ever released anywhere before! READ MORE
A bunch of stuff got in the way this week, but I'm probably ready to start the alpha test phase of Atonal Dreams. Here's what I need to do next week to get to that point. READ MORE
I hoped to have Atonal Dreams ready for alpha testing this week, though depression got in the way of that. I've almost got there though; just a few more tweaks. Also another album of non-game music, from the same time I composed the OST for MARDEK. READ MORE
I was hoping to have Atonal Dreams ready for some kind of alpha test by the end of this week, but frustratingly that's not happened yet because there's so much to do! Also, this week's Music Album contains music from Deliverance (and Fig Hunter and some old stuff)!!!1 READ MORE
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